Day 32: Needing some Miracle Gro

So it turns out I’m one of those “slow responders”, which in work parlance means that I’m not meeting the SLAs (service level agreements) which are expected of me. 

 
Grow, little eggies, grow!

Unfortunately for me, on top of generally not being very fertile (understatement of the year… no sniff of being pregnant for the almost 20 years I’ve been an adult), my ovaries are slow responders.

It makes it sound like they should be in remedial school or something. If only it were that simple. Following on from last week’s increased dosage (Gonal F 225 increased to 300, since you ask), they’ve gone and done a bit of a begrudging expansion, but not much.

I still don’t have any follicles at the magic 18. I have one at 17, and one at 16, and a few that are smaller. The doctors say I am a “special case” which is a bit embarrassing, but not a huge change to normal. (I got good grades at school but was apparently subversively naughty, as in I didn’t try very hard. Oh how I wish this translated to adulthood! Now I try hard but don’t get anywhere!)

T is supportive and he’s been very good about me being an elephant and not wanting to get jiggy and generally being an old bloated misery guts. The hayfever over the weekend didn’t help either as Dr Fit said I shouldn’t take the drugs so be been suffering in not-silence (sneezing and snotting mainly – attractive as I’m sure you can imagine).

So what next? I have an extra prescription of Gonal F to tide me over. Another scan in a couple of days where they’ll tell me if they’ve grown any more. The nurse may call this pm to increase my dose. 

The worst thing is that work is horrific. I haven’t told them, because they are super sexist and they wouldn’t approve at all. I work super long hours (on current project it’s usually around 06:30-22:00 at least, plus being expected to be around at weekends) so it’s not like they’re being hard done by when I take the odd hour out to go to the doc. I don’t even take a lunch break half the time. 

But the project I’m running is meant to be outside of London (I’ve been getting up before 4 to get there, to ensure they don’t miss out). And they’ve kicked up a stink about me not being there this week – I made up an excuse. Now it looks like I’m going to have to be in town again next week and they’ll probably cause merry hell about it. It just depresses me as I work so hard and get constant grief over it. 

Anyway – rant over. I’ll just have to suck it up. And pray to an omnipotent being that this works! If it doesn’t (and I so hope that isn’t our story) then the next time I think I’ll take a leave of absence from work. I think I deserve a bit of a rest!

Exhaustedly,

N