Day 34: A sexy Jabba the Hutt

 Do you think I’m sexy?

I’ve always had a soft spot for Jabba the Hutt – which is just as well, as I’m turning into him.

(He’s a Star Wars villain for those of you who’ve been living under a rock… or worse, too young to remember!) 
Rather than the attractive Princess Leia character, and glossing over the many inadequacies of the plot including some rather dodgy genetic sexual attraction, I’m rather speedily morphing into a giant slug like blob. 

Don’t read on if this is TMI…

As part of these chronicles, I wanted to be honest about the side effects as it’s something I was looking for as I’ve been going through the process. It might help you, or alternatively it might provide you with a laugh!

Humungaboobs – I seem to have developed pregnancy boobs without the actual pregnancy. I really hate these giant swollen boobs which are straining against my totally unfit for purpose bra. I would estimate it’s at least a cup size. They make me feel yucky and protruding. My nipples hurt. But T thinks they are sexy! Men and boobs! He’s had a little feel but unfortunately I really haven’t been in the mood for anything more due to work stress and generally not liking how it feels to be turning into a giant slug. 

Man repellent – All this medication is really not putting me in the mood at all. I feel incredibly yucky due to the fat and the other side effects. Unfortunately I’m also super busy at work so it’s all I can do just to get 4hrs sleep. Not going to let jiggy time encroach on that! Poor T. A fat blob to share his bed with, plus a snoring furry. Probably not the exciting trying-for-a-baby time he envisaged. 

Dishonourable discharge – I don’t want to go into too much detail here but seriously… I’m just leaking all over the place. It’s as if I’ve got some goo inside me that’s spending the past few weeks seeping out. It’s unpleasant and it definitely does not put one in the mood for sexy time! (For those into CM, it’s more water than egg white. Euuww.)

Muu muu time – I think it’s time I went and got a muu muu, as this is the only thing that will contain my rapidly expanding bulk. I’ve always been quite small as I’m short. At my largest I was a UK size 10, and that’s large when you’re a midget. Now I seem to be expanding into size 12 territory (cf humungaboobs above) which is not a pretty sight. My face now looks like an emoticon, ie round and featureless (apart from the below). My belly is like I’m pregnant AND chubby. I’m the fattest I’ve ever been. Which is really not a nice feeling. 

 All bound for muu muu land…

Pizza face – My spots are now heading to school level. It’s not that bad (for which I’m grateful) but it certainly doesn’t help the confidence when I’m also heading for chronic obesity. 

Tiny mice punches – See my other posts. I’m bruised on my stomach, although weirdly it’s going away. Maybe I only bruise at certain times in my cycle? 

So…

All in all, not that nice and I’m hoping it’s over soon. I’m waiting for my next scan to find out whether we can schedule egg collection or not. My slow growers have hopefully grown! Now on 375 of the Gonal F which seems like loads. Quite frankly I’m relishing the idea of sedation as it’s the only chance I’ll get to have a rest!

Will let you know how it goes… Stay happy everyone! 🙂

11 Comments Add yours

  1. Oh the joys of trying to get knocked up with science involved!! I hope your slow growers are growing better now and your retrieval will happen soon. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nara says:

      It’s happening! Update to be posted shortly! 🙂

      Like

  2. miku says:

    Awww. This made me giggle. I can relate to all of this. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nara says:

      Haha. Not just me then! Sluggies unite! 🙂

      Like

  3. Omg, this is hysterical. I appreciate your humor about this process–I can relate.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nara says:

      I know, right? Nobody ever tells you this shiz about IVF!!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Seriously, I could read your blog over and over again and not get bored! And for reals…the whole “getting jiggy with it”…forgetaboutit! I have ZERO desire for any of that at the moment. I’d rather eat ice cream and watch sappy movies than even be bothered with anything else. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nara says:

      Hahaha thank you! And ice cream and sappy movies sounds ideal! I went to see a chick flick with a girlfriend last weekend for that very reason… It’s all about the sweat pants, my friend. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Church!!! 🙂 I would normally drink to that butttt…. 😉

        Like

  5. Tiny mice punches sounds like it should be a song.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nara says:

      Yep… I’ll start a new band. Nara and the Ovaries! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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