Day 42: Little guy, you’re our only hope!

A day 2 (post transfer) update from me

The embryologist called me this morning (1 day post transfer) and told me that none of our remaining embryos were “good enough” for freezing. 😦

This means Little Guy, or Thomas (as T has christened him… I think he’s come round to the idea that he’s a boy) is our only hope!

I feel a bit pessimistic/realistic about the chances of mini-T sticking. I mean, this would have to go sooooo well, and I’m not someone for whom these things generally seem to work out. (Ref: my 20ish childbearing-age years of never having a child.) I guess I would have liked to have had a couple of frosty-kids to know there are other chances that wouldn’t mean going through all this again. But… looking on the bright side, at our hospital there is a higher chance with fresh cycles rather than frozen cycles, and if it doesn’t work this time then maybe they might know more about my lazy eggs and what dose to give me.

(This cycle: slow growing follicles, meaning increasing doses of Gonal F for a longer period of time, 12 eggs harvested > 6 eggs fertilised > 1 embryo at 3BB transferred > no embryos to freeze.)

This probably sounds like I’m being really negative and I promise you I’m not! We are still very hopeful about things – I’m just one of those people who never wants to get their hopes up over stuff if it’s not within my control. Statistically I’m already someone with fertility problems, and they’ve been very long term. People who need fertility treatment don’t have the best chance of success!

Other than that, my project-from-hell is still awful but at least (touch wood) I won’t have to be staying away from home for a while. So hopefully this means even though it’s very challenging and horrid that I may be able to get a bit of balance!

Testing is in 2 weeks so we will just have to hang on till then. Meanwhile I will be trying not to focus on the horrific work life balance (difficult when working 18 hours a day!), and we have a bank holiday this weekend which means we have Monday off in the UK. Nice! I have said I’m definitely not working over the weekend and I refuse even to check my email. Last time I did that was two days after egg collection and it meant I had to work all Sunday whilst feeling really sore and woozy! Not ideal!

We’re going to try and go out and about over the weekend and spend a bit of quality time together. So that’s good. 🙂

And in case it’s not a good outcome, we’ve decided we are going to plan a nice big holiday in a few months time – so there will be something to look forward to. I think it will just be one step further along in the process of trying to do something about infertility… and it will be nice to chill out a bit afterwards, regardless of the outcome!

If you’re waiting – what are you doing to keep yourself occupied?

If you’ve waited – did you plan anything nice to do after the wait was over?

Best of sticky-baby-good-hope-wishes to everyone!

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18 comments

  1. thecommonostrich

    Look, fertility treatments were invented to help infertile folks. Though nothing is a guarantee, remember this whole process is meant to help you along. Past performance of nonfertility is not indicative of future performance– especially when this is your first go around. Best to stay neutral. Which it sounds like you are.

    As for my “what I did whilst waiting” story, I planned a few things. During the TWW, I took on a knitting project. For results day, I worked from home and planned dinner and a movie with Mr. O. The idea was we’d either be celebrating or consoling. And regardless of the outcome, life must go on.

    Secretly, I planned my own “Eat, Pray, Love” if it didn’t work. I planned on taking a pastry class, then a silent meditation retreat, and eventually a trip out to the California coast. After a few years of infertility and 7 treatments, I wanted to take time to reset.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nara

      That sounds like a good idea! I think I’ll have to plan some sort of activity… Probably involving no work and a bit of relaxation! I don’t think I could take up knitting – I tried but didn’t even manage to finish a scarf! 🙂
      Great idea to plan dinner and work from home. I don’t really want to do the test and go into work. I’ll have to sort that one out – thanks for the tip!

      Like

  2. My Perfect Breakdown

    I can only imagine how disappointing it is to know that you don’t have any to freeze. BUT, I also know how exciting it is that you have hope in your little one right now. And, I also realize just how hard it is to balance the combination of disappointment and hope – it’s no easy task that’s for sure! I’m wishing you peace during the TWW and a positive at the end!
    We also planned mini weekends away to help us focus on life and not the roller-coaster. It was our way of always having something on the horizon to be excited for.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nara

      Thank you! I’m trying not to think about it, in that I’m not really focusing on anything apart from work right now. I do want to spend some quality time with my partner and dog over the bank holiday as they’ve been so neglected through work! Just doing that will be nice. Mini weekends away sound lovely too! We’ve said we are going to do that as soon as my awful project is over!

      Like

  3. notabroodychick

    Sorry you didn’t get any frosties, but it does only take one, so everything crossed for the one on board! I planned a nice facial and acupuncture in my 2ww as some nice things to look forward to. Also had some plans for the weekends following, so that there was always something to think about and plan for. I found doing Zita west positive visualisations (you can get on iTunes) helped keep me calm and believing and hoping it would work.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nara

      Thank you! I think I’m good with the positivity and so on, I mean I am realistic about how much of a chance there is so I’m not feeling really impatient or anything. I’m not the kind of person who’ll test early! I just need something to look forward to at the end! Massages sound great. Just not being at work would be amazing!

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  4. ashleykyleanderson

    I’m sorry that you don’t have others to freeze 😔 I know that must be a huge disappointment. But you’re not out yet. Don’t give up on this embryo- this could very well be the one! In the meantime, keep busy! (Preferably doing something fun). Having something to do during the wait has always made things much easier for us.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nara

      Thank you! I have plenty to do tbh… All I’m doing is working! Sob! 😦
      I will definitely have to find something nice to do this weekend! Hope you are doing something fun too! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • Nara

      I don’t really… I think I’m just really tired today (well you would be after hardly any sleep). I feel like I need to go and take a holiday. 😦

      Like

  5. 30yr old nothing

    I know it’s like to have your hopes hanging on one little guy. I hope this doesn’t sound morbid but it did help to have a plan B in mind if things didn’t go as planned. And I planned to go out to dinner when we got the results because we hardly ever go out to dinner, so just plan on doing something fun that you hardly ever do or something that you’ve been putting off and if it’s a negative, plan to add alcohol if you’re that way inclined :)… But I’m rooting for Thomas! Come on Thomas!!!

    Like

    • Nara

      Thank you so much! I definitely want to go out to dinner… That’s a great idea. Will have to look up somewhere nice – it has to be easy to get in somewhere on a Monday!

      Like

  6. Babyscienceproject

    ‘it only takes one’ – I plan to have t shirts printed with that message and sell them in infertility clinics and online 👕👕. Good luck, do lots of walking and yoga, good for blood flow!

    Like

    • Nara

      Hahahaha, let me know how the t shirt printing business goes! I didn’t do a lot of walking and yoga over the weekend, but I did SLEEP. Hurrah! Hope you are doing well too! 🙂

      Like

    • Nara

      Aww I’m glad it’s going well with you. Need to go and catch up on all the blog goss… Have been offline this weekend!

      Like

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