Day 53: Not-so-Clearblue

 

 

 

It’s testing day!

You’d think this would be a good thing now the Two Week Wait is over. I barely slept last night as I kept waking up in between having dreams about negative pregnancy tests. (Yep, even my subconscious isn’t holding out much hope. I mean, that would be too easy, right?)

One thing I always do is get up during the night and go to the bathroom. A lot. So it was a bit unclear what “first thing in the morning” should be. I mean, should it be 2am? 4am? 6am? I settled for 6am as that’s the time I usually get up when I’m going to work. Well, that or earlier. Anyway, I did get up at other times too, so I don’t know if my wee was diluted or whatever. I’d also been drinking a shedload of water yesterday as I had the most horrific headache. Not sure if it was a migraine as I’m not sure what counts as one, but I had it all afternoon into the evening and I felt awful. I am the sort of person who’s a bit trigger happy on the old meds – I usually get a lot of headaches but take painkillers, which I obviously haven’t been doing, and also I’ve been sneezing a lot due to hayfever (and Dr Fit told me not to take antihistamines, so all round I’ve been a snotty headachey mess).

So… 6ish this morning, I wee on the stick and this is what happens…

 

Now, I know it’s not very interesting to see other people’s wee sticks but I’m being serious here… What is that supposed to mean? It could be wishful thinking on my part, but I’m pretty sure there is a faint line going across the minus line – it appeared pretty much straight away and I watched it for a few minutes and it stayed like that. I don’t know if I weed on it wrong (I don’t have much previous for this, sadly) and somehow muddied the waters with some sort of cross-weeing (I wouldn’t put it past myself to screw this up) but it isn’t entirely minus, as far as I can see.

Here’s another picture, then I promise I’ll stop:

Let’s just say that Clearblue pregnancy tests should be renamed to Not-so-Clearblue. What am I supposed to do with that?

I’ll tell you what I’m doing.

I have the day off. (So I can sit around and mope in the face of negative test.) T and I are off for a swanky dinner this evening, and apart from that I was planning on doing some baking and going to the mall. I don’t get to go shopping that much as I am usually at work and then when not at work I feel like I should be spending time with Dog. (And T, he he.) So today I’m spending time with Dog and will pop out to the shops and buy one of every pregnancy test they have going… and possibly some clothes. And I’m thinking of getting a new phone, because mine doesn’t really work any more – probably because it keeps getting full of random pictures of Dog and food. We shall see.

Anyway, I showed the test to T and he’s of the optimistic opinion that it is “probably positive” and therefore he’s banning me from drinking champagne at our swanky dinner tonight.

I keep looking at it and wondering whether I’m just one of those deluded women who has a negative test but doesn’t acknowledge that it’s negative…? I mean, I was expecting it to be negative so I’m a bit flummoxed by this whole idea that there’s a faint vertical line.

Obviously in this respect, Dr Google is a quack. All I’m getting from google is a load of hopefuls on mumsnet and whatnot with people saying “Oh it’s definitely positive” but with nobody coming back to say whether it actually was. #nothelpful

So… I’m going to wait and test again. And test some more. I’m supposed to email my doc today and tell them whether I’m pregnant or not. I’m thinking not, but I’m not entirely sure… AAGH. So I suppose I’ll wait a few days and see if it goes either way.

Please feel free to post helpful, get-a-grip-of-yourself-woman! encouraging / other comments and let me know what you think, how you’re feeling today and any other exciting news! 🙂

N