We’re all dying, as I used to say dramatically during my adolescence.
I really feel like I’m dying, though. Since being fortunate enough to enter into the IVF process, and even more fortunate to be able to get pregnant from it (high five, NHS!), I haven’t been taking any medication. Or caffeine (well, I’ve had chocolate but no coffee). Or alcohol. Basically my tripartite crutch of meds-coffee-alcohol has been ripped away.
The upshot of this all is that I am: tired (no coffee plus body is making a little human), sober (gosh the world looks less rosy without rosé) and DYING of hayfever (sniffle, snot, sneeze). It’s been moderately bad already this year and I got some stuff that the pharmacist said would be okay for pregnant women (an entirely ineffectual nasal spray that serves only to make me look like I’m foaming from the nostrils, like Dog when he gets excited). And Lockets, which are actually fairly minging but make the ongoing sneezefest more tolerable.
But as of yesterday this has barely touched the sides. I was at a conference and it was pretty good but I spent the entire day feeling self conscious that I was sneezing and snotting out of my nose. Can I just say that makeup goes to pot when you are manic sneezing.
Here was the view from the top:
Pretty good. It was a great conference aimed at women in the corporate world and in any other situation I would have enjoyed it 100%. Whereas I spent the day enjoying it but also feeling terribly ill. It was great to see all these strong women (plus for some reason I actually found the discussions about women-as-mothers moderately relevant rather than it not applying to me as it usually does).
Anyway, I went to the doctor this morning as it was pretty much an emergency. Aside from probably snorting, sneezing and snotting over countless high powered business women yesterday whilst my brain ran out of my nostrils (I think it was my brain… I can’t be sure), I finally got home last night and one of my eyeballs actually swelled up and was disgustingly popping out of my eye. I mean, that’s not right! Apparently pregnancy causes you to have more snot anyway. Oh, the joys. Don’t even get me thinking about the actual birthing side of things. (I still think that’s unlikely so am not thinking about it, la la la la.)
I do love the NHS. We have a fairly oversubscribed doctor’s surgery near us but they do a walk in centre too so I went first thing this morning and saw a nurse practitioner. He gave me a new inhaler (salbutamol – which is apparently fine if you’re pregnant) but confirmed there wasn’t really anything he could give me for the hayfever other than some eye drops. So I guess I’ll just have to suffer. At least the inhaler has helped me feel a bit better as it always feels quite terrible when you’re struggling to breathe. (I always refuse to believe I have, like, actual asthma, but I get really badly affected by hayfever each year so I use an inhaler then.) He did say he could give me some antihistamines as they “weren’t proven” to cause damage to unborn children but I was like I have had IVF! so I don’t want anything that might cause any damage to the baby! and then he decided it probably wasn’t worth giving them to me… so I guess maybe they’re low risk. At any rate I don’t want anything unless a doc says it’s okay.
I have my first GP appointment on Tuesday but just wanted to try and get something before then. Apparently on Tuesday is when they give you the form and then you fill it in and you can claim all medicines for free whilst you’re pregnant until your child is one year old! – WTF. Seriously, I say again, bless the NHS. It’s just nuts that they’re so supportive of people. They even said in the pharmacy that I should keep the prescription till I had the special maternity card that gives you free meds, and I was like, no, it’s fine… I will pay for the inhaler and eye drops – don’t need to put more strain on the NHS! (I think I’m just a very enthusiastic service user. Or I’m getting all preggers hormonal and grateful or something.)
In other news, my ASOS delivery “let’s try on some maternity clothing to see what it’s like” was a complete washout. I mean, firstly I had completely overestimated how fat I actually was. I ordered everything in a size 12 which turned out to be fatter than I was feeling. (I’m aware size 12 isn’t actually fat for normal people but it is if you’re my height, ie midget.) I think the whacking humungaboobs have made me feel fatter than I am. Secondly, everything at ASOS seems to be made for giants. Like, people who are six foot tall or something. The jeans actually fit me but were a bit long and they really weren’t flattering. I decided to keep with my current jeans and maybe do the unbuttoned/long top thing… or buy a pair of my usual jeans in a size up. It’s a bit annoying to have to keep sending stuff back to ASOS but I think I’ve learned my lesson now – and they do free returns.
I did pregnancy test #8 this morning. I’m still pregnant! I probably could have even not done it, but I wanted to be sure I was pregnant before going to the doctor’s surgery and saying wah wah I can’t take stuff because I’m pregnant. Anyway it was a strong blue cross! Hurrah! I still have three more left I think – one of the pink first response ones and a couple of digital ones. (For some reason I find the digital ones less exciting, though obviously the first digital one was super exciting. I think it’s because there is less suspense involved!)
We have the first scan next Thursday. Which is exciting! Although scary too, because what if they say there’s something wrong? I still have this feeling that they’ll tell me the stomach I have is entirely made out of pizza. (They’d be correct.)
So my plan for the weekend is to avoid someone’s birthday party – I’m sending T off to it, as the person is really nice and deserves people to attend their party, but what with the hayfever and not drinking I don’t think I can face it. So I’ll take the ASOS stuff and send it back, and I might go to the mall and do a bit of wandering around aimlessly/shopping. I’ve ordered a pair of jeans a size bigger than my usual size so I’ll go and try those on and maybe just do a bit of window shopping… but nothing too drastic. I could do with a few longer tops though as I don’t want people to see my undone jeans if it gets to that! At the moment I can do them up but they’re a bit squishy.
I’ve had the odd spot of nausea but I don’t know if that’s pregnancy nausea or general feeling unwell hayfevery nausea. I am hoping I don’t properly get it as I am soooo bad at being ill. I think a quiet Saturday in with Dog is what the doctor ordered. I’ll probably do Friday night as well! I bought a cookbook yesterday as I thought I probably need to try and do something that isn’t pizza for once.