I Don’t Matter

Originally posted on Infertility And Faith:
I have had so many ups and downs since we started our infertility treatment. But today I felt like I was at one of my lowest of lows. The weird part is, I wasn’t sad, or mad, or depressed. I just processed my thoughts and accepted it. I’m sure…

The talking cure

I’m British (by adoption, but pretty much since birth) and culturally this means I’m predisposed to having a Stiff Upper Lip. This means that we don’t like to dwell too much on things that have happened to us, preferring instead to Keep Calm and Carry on. This wartime adage has gained almost legendary status in…

From Lost to Found: A Pug Story

Originally posted on Meanwhile, back at the ranch…:
Search “Chug the Pug” on this blog and you will find countless entries on this little black bean of a dog that came into our lives to help us through a rough patch, and then continued on his merry way, peeing in my husband’s shoes, losing an…

Keeping on keeping on

Sometimes I think I just make too much of things. I want to be totally okay, I really do. But I’ve been feeling not myself since the miscarriage. I don’t feel overwhelmingly sad. It’s more a numbness. I think the best way to describe it is that nothing has changed (I’m still not pregnant; I’m…

After miscarriage: moving forward

An update on where we’re up to on our IVF journey I’m back at work after they confirmed that the miscarriage completed. In fact it did take pretty much most of the two weeks to complete. (The more horrible two week wait, as I’ve christened it.) I learned a lot about miscarriage¬†that I never wanted…

People with kids are so entitled

My friend (used to be a real life friend – now fb friend since she cancelled dinner on me the day she found out she was pregnant… I haven’t seen her physically ever again and she’s now on baby #2) just posted on fb advocating a reduced hours working week. The video was all about…

Stitching together happy

I’ve been away from work for something like 3 weeks. I lose count. I worked from home for a week when we were waiting for the final scan before miscarriage was diagnosed, and then I was signed off by the doctor for two so we could recover from the operation (ERPC) that I didn’t end…

Day 94: Stopped counting too soon

I woke up bleeding. I’d felt a kind of dull ache all day but I thought that the bleeding had stopped, so it was an unwelcome surprise to find there was still more to come. The pain had gotten worse too. It took a while to wake up – I’d been dreaming of miscarriage anyway,…

Small happinesses

Life is really not all bad. You’d be forgiven for thinking that my life is unrelenting doom if you read my last few posts, and I’m still getting my head around the idea of my first ever pregnancy and miscarriage happening within a few weeks of each other. But I did want to mention that…

Day 91: Joining the club nobody wants to join

#IHadAMiscarriage I had a miscarriage. I never thought I’d say those words. I never thought I’d have a need for them. After 15 (count ’em!) years of¬†unexplained but very barren childlessness, without a sniff of a pregnancy, ever – I never thought that my first pregnancy would also become my first miscarriage. At the age…