I don’t have a great deal to say today, because I’ve just been getting on with life and it hasn’t been very eventful. It’s not bad… I’m fine. I’m just sort of chugging along. And feeling slightly in limbo, waiting to find out when I am going to have an operation to remove the fibroid and when we can start IVF #2.
A lot of what I’ve been thinking lately is how fortunate I am. It’s easy to get kind of self-pitying in this process, especially in summer when every single woman in the world seems to be pregnant. Where the pavements are paved with buggies and you have to dodge pregnant women and children and fertility at every turn. So I try and do jedi mind tricks on myself to put it all into perspective. I’m pretty darned lucky (and happy) in a lot of my life and I try to focus on that.
Anyway, this video is a couple of weeks old, but you have to watch it. Bailey Matthews is 8 and he did his first triathlon. Which would be a huge achievement in itself (I’ve never done one and I’m more than four times his age!) not to mention the fact that Bailey has cerebral palsy. Cerebral palsy is a neurological disorder that affects muscle tone, movement and motor skills. Skills that it would really help to have in a triathlon. Do you think this bothers Bailey? (Hint: Does it heck.)
Watching this brings it back to me: I’m happy. I’m lucky. I have a couple of small areas of my life that I’d like to improve, but overall it’s good, so I don’t want to waste my time wishing it away. (Plus I’m lazy and wishing away takes effort!) Of course we are all entitled to a pity party once in a while. That other people have it harder is a fact, and doesn’t negate our own experiences or the fact that it’s okay to feel bad even if our problems aren’t as bad as others’ problems. It’s not about that… because I feel like one of those super-lucky people. I’ve had some bad stuff happen to me, and I’ve had many times of feeling bad about myself, or angry at the world, or feeling like I got a bad deal in life. But sometimes something comes along and it reminds me that the key to life is about how you look at it.
You can choose to focus on what you’ve lost, or you can think about what you’ve won.
You can feel the unfairness of what you don’t have, or you can feel grateful that you have enough of what you need, and compassion for those who have it harder.
Or you can just not worry too much about overthinking things, and see things for what they are – inspirational.
The video speaks for itself. Click on the link to see Bailey leave his walking frame behind and make his own way for the last 20m to the finish line. I guarantee you’ll have tears in your eyes.