It’s that time again…
Time to get back to work tomorrow. I can’t fully put into words how much this is not thrilling me.
First of all, having to go through all the hassle of actually getting dressed like an adult. I think I’ve spent the majority of the past week wearing a variant of what I call Holiday Dress. This comprises what I’m wearing currently, which is some Mickey Mouse sweatpants, a Mickey Mouse t shirt (do you see a theme here?), a sweatshirt covered with emoji (including my favourite pizza emoji) and topped off with a bright pink hair towel (because I can’t be bothered to dry my hair, ever).
Notice what I didn’t include: bra.
Now, I like bras. They make your boobs look a nice pert shape. They stop you from feeling like your puppies are heading southwards during meetings, and for some unknown reason they seem to be attractive to men. But I am the kind of person who takes every opportunity possible to loaf around not wearing one. I get home after work and immediately revert to my betracksuited state. It just makes me feel nice and relaxed. I even take the dog out without one (me, not the dog – he never wears a bra!) although it is winter so I think it’s okay as I’m wearing a coat and I don’t think you can tell the state of my boobs underneath it. On some holiday days I don’t even wash my hair! Cripes!
So the first thing I’m not looking forward to is this: Dressing like an adult. Including harnessing those puppies into “business attire”. Ugh.
Included in the yuckiness of going back to work is the idea that I have to get up approximately 5 hours earlier than I have become accustomed to over the past two weeks. In the beginning, I got up around 9am but over time this has stretched to 11-something. I know. It’s terrible. But I figure I may as well get some benefits of not having a baby / having to go into work. I gotta say, I enjoy the lie ins although I think I’m probably sleeping similar amounts – I just stay up really late reading books in bed. (The kindle is both a wonderful addition to my life and a sleep-sucking machine.)
Dog has not been 100% over Christmas so we’ve tried to rest him at home, which means we haven’t gone on long walks like we usually do and have spent most of the time hibernating. It does mean I’ve had the chance to read a good few books, which was nice. T has been back at work for the past few days – he didn’t have all the time off in the in between time – so I’ve had lots of nice quality time with Dog just lying on the sofa and reading. He’s a good snoring companion!
We also got to do lots of fun stuff over the break. I posted on my last post about all the fun stuff we did in the lead up to Christmas… We also had a really nice Christmas and new year. It’s a great time of year I think!
On Christmas Eve my parents arrived. Our place is too small for them to stay (we have some sofa beds but it’s not really suitable for my parents!) so they stayed in a hotel. We went out for dinner on Christmas Eve to a nice local pub, and I think it’s just nice to have reached that stage where you can treat your parents (though they still treat me a lot). On Christmas Day we had them round for a traditional Christmas dinner and T’s parents came too, so it was really lovely. They actually met for the first time last Christmas Day! Fortunately it went well so we did a repeat. I even managed not to burn the turkey or the veggies, although T probably did most of it!
Our flat is completely Christmased out. I don’t really think you can believe it till you see it, but let’s just say the usual reaction ranges from “OMG!” to general expressions of delight (young people) and being flabbergasted (older people). One entire wall is a fairy light wall. The entrance hall has a real 6 ft Christmas tree and then in our living room we have a giant artificial tree which goes to the ceiling. It is decorated with all the decorations we’ve collected over the past few years, mainly from Disney, and presents we’ve received from friends. (Thank you MPB!) It feels really nice and I’ve insisted on putting the lights on every day I’ve been at home, so I can enjoy them before they’re gone! We exchanged a lot of presents and I got some really cool stuff. Although not as much chocolate as I would like! (This is probably a good thing.)
T got me an automatic milk warmer to make hot chocolate (my favourite drink). And a huge box of chocolate spoons which you stir into hot milk to make hot chocolate. He also got me the biggest pack of marshmallows I’ve ever seen! I got him a remote control drone – it’s really quite fun although Dog goes a bit nuts when it’s flying around the flat. We got lots of silly little presents too. I love Christmas!
We did have one moment which was slightly awkward when my dad remarked on all the Christmas and Disney stuff (including my latest Lumiere from Beauty and the Beast, who sings Be Our Guest… Awesome), and said “All this stuff, who’s the child around here?” – I think my mum almost killed him with her death stare. Anyway… I’m okay with it. I think that yes, we do have a lot of childish stuff. We enjoy Christmas and we enjoy Disney… I think that’s okay. Maybe we never have a kid and we carry on enjoying it. Maybe we do, and the kid gets to have parents who love childish stuff (which I reckon can’t be a bad thing either way).
Anyway, I digress… Christmas is over. New Year has started. It’s 2016. That’s nuts… That’s the future. I don’t know what’s going to happen in 2016. What I do know is how I’m starting it. Fatter than I’d like! I figure I have around a month to try and lose some weight before we start IVF #2. I don’t want to go too mad on it as I’m not sure what would be worse – crash dieting or being overweight. I think there’s so much for us all to feel guilty about and I keep telling myself that fat people get pregnant all the time! And drunk people… And smokers… Neither of which I am. I actually felt sick after new year’s drinks and I wasn’t even drunk, so I think I might do a Dry January like most people seem to do. Anyway, we need to try and get as healthy as possible, within the time frames. I put on weight during the first cycle and I haven’t lost it… And it’s been Christmas… So everyone is fatter, right?!
We had a nice new year celebration. A few people in our building had a party and we were invited, which meant we had a nice social event without having to leave the building! Dog even made a guest appearance – he was chased around by our neighbour’s cat. I think the cat came out better. Anyway I made another cake to celebrate 2016… It was very chocolatey!
Ah, the holidays. Still… Half a day left! Eek! I have 10 minutes of my Scandinavian thriller to finish reading, and I’m wondering if I can manage to read another book before tomorrow’s reality kicks in?! I managed to do my first attempt at knitting yesterday. It’s on a loom I bought from one of those random shops where you end up buying loads of stuff even though you’re not sure what you went in for. I am bad at finishing things so hopefully I will finish this! I probably won’t!
I really am NOT looking forward to getting back to work tomorrow. Aside from the dressing-myself-in-stuff-without-pictures-of-pizza-on thing, and the having-to-wear-a-bra thing, I am NOT looking forward to seeing that woman (the b**** who asked me if I was pregnant) who unfortunately before Christmas I ended up having to do some work on the same account as. She’s an absolute cow and I can’t avoid her if I work on a certain client as she works exclusively on that account. Without going into a big whinge fest she also managed to upset me before Christmas so I really don’t want to see her again. Also she could sit at any desk in the office but decided to sit on my row! Seriously! It’s like she’s just trying to annoy me. The other point is that she is now really obviously pregnant so it just is a daily reminder of how I’m not pregnant. (Typical that the biggest b**** manages to come back from mat leave and pretty much immediately get pregnant.) Life isn’t fair!
Other than that, I’m hoping I can manage to get on a good project in the new year. I have a few things in the pipeline but nothing confirmed and I think it’s more than my sanity’s worth to end up on something like last year’s where I ended up working 18 hour days and travelling and not sleeping, all during IVF #1. I’m hoping that I can try and get more balance this year and particularly for our second attempt at IVF. I bought a load of extra vacation days so I am intending during stims that I’ll take time off rather than try and fit all the scans in between work stuff, which was really stressful last time round. Hopefully I will be all calm and zen like rather than stressed and worky!
So… Happy New Year everyone! (Everyone knows new year diet only starts tomorrow, amirite?!)
I’m not really into making new year’s resolutions (other than my perennial desire to lose some of the excess weight and get fit etc) and so I’ll try and leave it fairly open-ended. I want to be happy, and for those around me to be happy. That’s all.
I don’t know how or when this happiness will come about but I’ll try and do my best to encourage it. That includes trying not to feel bad about stuff that I can’t change. I can’t help being infertile but I can try my best to make things happen and focus on the good stuff rather than the frustrating, horrible stuff. (I can ignore work b**** until she goes on mat leave I guess… I need to stop getting riled up about her even when she’s clearly being annoying and awful.) I can try hard at work and do my best to get good results. And I can spend quality time with Dog and T and my friends and family.
It’s not all a trick of the mind, but we do have some stuff within our control… How we choose to live our lives, in a positive way or a negative way. I’ve kind of had enough negativity in 2015 so I’m hopeful that 2016 is gonna be more positive! And if it isn’t, I’ll deal with it!
Go get ’em, 2016!