The hair down there

  

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(Warning: Some people might not like this content or find it offensive, in which case I suggest you don’t read it.)

Hair is a feminist issue. Or that’s what we are led to believe. Revulsion at the very idea that women might have hair anywhere other than on their head, or their eyebrows, is something that seems pretty universal. (Now fashion has swung the other way, and augmented eyebrows are the way to go… I’m waiting for the moustache comeback.) You’re either a “normal” person who takes it for granted that she’ll shave her pits and/or rip out her armpit hair and pubes from the root after pouring hot wax on them or… You’re a dirty feminist.

For a long time now I’ve idly wondered why the majority of women de-fuzz themselves, removing moustaches, armpit hair, leg hair and most of all, pubic hair. We are told that this patch of hair between our legs somehow represents our political ideals. We’re led to believe that the hair in our armpits needs to be removed lest we have a Julia Roberts moment and inadvertently reveal our true, hairy self to the world.

  

Julia looking hawt. But kicking off a media storm in the days before social media by revealing that she’s – shock – a normal human being with armpit hair!

And for me, I have had a fairly ambivalent relationship with my body hair, particularly my hair down there. Setting aside head hair for a bit, which is a whole ‘nother thing (I think we treat head hair and body hair as separate entities, so maybe that’s for another post), the process of IVF and multiple invasive and gynaecological investigations has made me a whole lot more conscious about my pubic hair.

Eras of consciousness, as measured by my pubes

Bear with me a moment, because I’m going to reminisce.

The time before knowing

It took me a while to put two and two together and realise that adults had pubes whilst children didn’t. Of course I knew my mum and dad had pubes (and this was before the 90s or whenever it became trendy to remove them… I wonder how today’s children are going to deal with the realisation that women are probably just as hairy as men in the crotch department) but I didn’t quite cotton on that I would get them eventually.

As a child, we are conditioned slowly into thinking nakedness is bad. We just didn’t care. I had three siblings and two parents and bathed with all of them. (Not kidding; we had a giant bath.) This was the 80s where there wasn’t the hysteria about anything to do with children like there is now. I’m sure parents don’t bathe with their kids any more. Or brothers and sisters. But we did. We were quite familiar with our nakedness and we also spent a lot of time on the beach, where we didn’t cover up either. The girls wore the same size little pants as the boys did. We had no need to wear bikini tops. There was nothing sexual about nakedness.

Suddenly there’s the adolescent age where I started becoming aware of the changes that would happen to my body. They happened very slowly! I was far less developed than any of my friends. (I think white people develop differently to people of my ethnicity, as I was super slow.) And suddenly it became painfully obvious that I needed to reach these milestones. I was s-l-o-w. I didn’t need a bra till I was 16, and I didn’t start my period until after I was 16. I was worried I was abnormal. We even went to the doctor’s to check. (He said I was fine and to come back if I hadn’t started in a year or whatever.)

The kids at my school didn’t help. I was bullied pretty badly, and one of the bullies’ favourite topics was my “missing” pubes. Let’s just say I wasn’t hairy like they were. One of my best friends, the archetypal blue eyed blonde haired white girl, had a big bush. (I’m sure she doesn’t now!) I was teased for being undeveloped and still looking like a child in that department. (In hindsight this has probably saved me a fortune in waxing bills.) So I went from not being aware of pubes to wanting them very badly.

 

The punk years

I eventually got “normal” pubes. It just happened more slowly than for my white friends, who all had magnificent bushes by the time they were 14 or something. Mine was a slow grower. I was generally a slow developer. It was probably normal for my race. (By this time my siblings and I had stopped sharing baths, so I didn’t know.)

I grew up. I turned into an adult. I had a boyfriend and we slept together. It was no big deal. Pubes just weren’t a thing back then, and aside from him occasionally calling it “punky” (it had a tendency to stick straight out) I didn’t really give it a thought. I guess I was “au naturel”. 

During these years I was perfectly bikini confident in the way that I didn’t really worry about how it would look. I wasn’t sufficiently hairy to consider having to trim the sides, otherwise I probably would have done. (Nobody wants to see pubes sticking out the sides of your swimsuit. I think that’s a step too far, but probably not the most revealing thing you could do. Personally I’m too busy worrying about my own flabby bits to police other women’s bikini lines.)

 

90s minimalism

I was growing into adulthood in the 90s, the era of minimalism, of Kate Moss, of toning down the supermodel excesses and the big hair and going pared back. 

I don’t know when I first heard the term Brazilian. But somewhere over time it seeped into the collective consciousness that pubic hair was non grata, and it very definitely wasn’t cool. I guess the rise of the Internet helped propagate ideas more quickly – the normalisation of p*rnography and the stripping bare, literally, of women. Apparently this all started so cameras could see the action more easily, but what happened was that people – men and women – began to find body hair revolting. 

(Not sure why I starred that… Possibly because I don’t really think this blog is what folk are looking for when they search on that term!)

During the 90s, I trimmed but I didn’t really let it worry me. I mean, I’d gone through my adolescence being teased for not having enough, so it seemed a bit counterintuitive to get rid of it. And nobody ever complained. I didn’t know any better, and Brazilians seemed a bit exotic and a bit like hard work. 

 

The naughty noughties

(That was predictable, right?!) I met my long term partner in the noughties, and sh*t got real. We did what new partners do. A lot. Turns out he also was into adult movies, which in the beginning I found pretty exciting and so we watched them. A lot. 

Mind. Blown.

Turns out women didn’t have pubes after all! A lot of men didn’t, either. I became familiar with the whole spectrum of lady gardens (or lady patios, given the lack of shrubbery) and started to feel a vague sense of having to do something about my own unruly backyard. (I’ve never liked gardening. Pruning nature doesn’t seem worth the cost benefit to me… Most of the time I think it looks fine unrefined, but I’m appreciative of well maintained gardens – I just don’t want to spend time doing it myself. Metaphor ends.)

It was at some point I saw my sister’s (I know, right?) and I commented that she didn’t have much, and she told me not to be silly and that she shaved. (My sister, though younger, has always been the quicker to grow up than I was.) So what did I do? I started shaving. Trim and shave. Keep the thing tidy. Not quite to adult movie standards (I really still find it ridiculously amusing that people have a little Hitler tache on their undercarriage) but eventually it got down to a tiny little patch. 

I guess I did a fair amount of shagging during this time. And I’d sort of been conditioned to think that hair was dirty, and pubes especially, and that the ideal was to get rid of them as much as possible without “looking like a child”. Various men over time made their feelings on the subject known to me – usually this was “You should keep it minimal but not nothing”. So I did. 

 

Waxing and waning

The time came when I broke up with my ex. It wasn’t fun at all, so I’m not minimising it. I lost a lot of weight and went a bit crazy. And like a lot of single people, I took advantage of the freedom of not being tied to one person. (Word to the wise: One nice guy is worth a million of the ones who just want to shag you.)

It was during this time I was introduced to waxing by one of my best friends of the era. She couldn’t believe I’d never done it. I couldn’t believe that the majority of my friends actually paid someone to pour hot wax on their bits and rip out their pubes. It’s amazing what is normal in western society!

They persuaded me to go and try it. I went to a very trendy place in Covent Garden where they have made it look like a nightclub and I had it done. It hurt! I felt like it was a weird thing to do. I think it’s less the pain and more the ignominy of it. Being asked to part your butt cheeks so someone can wax your assh*le is an experience I could do without.

And I’m not even that hairy! As I mentioned, it was an effort to grow pubes at all. Maybe I’d feel differently if they were the swimsuit-bursting type but they’re not. 

I did it a few times but then went back to shaving. You kind of get stubble either way and I’d rather not pay for something I don’t enjoy. (There’s a reason I’m not a member of the gym.)

 

Regrowth

I think my attitude towards pubes began to change gradually over time; like most of my views. Towards the end of my relationship, I began to question some of its foundations. (For instance, was watching hardcore adult content really as liberating as it seemed? I kind of wanted someone to feel like sleeping with me without watching someone else have an unrealistic encounter on screen. Does anyone actually do that side eye whilst giving a BJ? Probably not as there isn’t a camera!)

My changing attitude towards body hair probably coincided with my increased acceptance of my body, with all its failings. At a certain age, I think you have to accept that you are just the way you are. I’m still not entirely happy with my body – it’s heavier than I’d like, and it would be great to change my face, not to mention infertility – but I kind of get that I’m not going to turn into a supermodel any time soon. I can change it within limitations. I can’t make it grow or whatever. I just have to make the best of what I’ve got. 

Meeting T helped a lot. I think before I met him, I was all about trying to project a certain appearance. When I met him, I had no interest in having a superficial relationship. I’d come out of a really long term relationship and I was traumatised by another short term but very negative relationship. I’d even been out with a guy who fetishised my ethnicity, which was just the weirdest thing. (It sort of made me feel attractive and not attractive at the same time.)

So by the time I met T, I was done pretending. 

T has never tried to be weird or kinky. My ex was super kinky and wanted to watch adult stuff and do strange things (that I used to shock my friends about when I told them – I was that person; funny how those people who have the most “exciting” lives are probably the most unhappy). I just wanted a guy who wanted to be with me for me. Warts and all. (I don’t have warts – just saying.)

So when I met T, I literally said this is me. And for some reason, he stuck around. (He probably regrets this bit, haha.) And over time, I loosened the mad grip I had on maintaining a body that wasn’t my natural one. I stopped starving myself. I started doing what I wanted to do with my clothes and makeup. I slowly freed myself from the expectations that had built up. I was not some kinky little boy toy. I wasn’t someone’s fetish. I was just… Me. 

So where does that leave my pubes?

It’s difficult to say. I really don’t think about them very much, which means they are probably rather less maintained than they used to be. 

I’ve only thought of them more in the context of having lots of internal examinations due to the IVF process and the various ops (hysteroscopy, HSG and whatnot). Sometimes when I went in for the baseline and stims scans I would think “OMG, perhaps I need to shave?!”

Sometimes I did; sometimes I didn’t. I’ve never whipped it right off again and I haven’t gone Brazilian-esque or anything. I definitely have pubes, and they aren’t in any kind of shape other than the one they grow in, minus a bit of tidying. So I guess that’s almost au naturel, apart from removing the scraggly bits (when I can be bothered).

If T is bothered by it, he has never mentioned it. Maybe I owe it to him to ask. But I think: I’ve never asked him to change anything about himself. I haven’t asked him to trim his pubes or armpit hair or change his haircut or wear different clothes or lose weight. (All things that my ex explicitly or implicitly asked.) To me it is not my decision what he does with his body. If he asked me, I would give an opinion. 

And that opinion would be: Do whatever you want. I love you. 

If that makes me a dirty feminist, then I’m okay with that. 

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43 comments

  1. TryTryAgain

    I love this post!!! It’s without doubt one of the best and funniest things I’ve read in a long time!! Brilliant ๐Ÿ™‚

    I’m sadly on the other end of the hairy spectrum to you – thanks to a very dark, hairy father and polycystic ovaries. I’ve always had a bit of a mega bush (which even my mum was shocked at seeing – very comforting), hairy arms, a bit of a tash and now thanks to PCOS, a few lovely witchy chin hairs as well, hurray!! I’ve learned to keep them all fairly in order over time, but ironically my bush is actually the last thing that I worry about now whenever I go for internal scans, check ups etc. I honestly think that my bits have been seen more now by members of the medical profession than the average porn star, it’s become that normal!

    Interesting book if you’re into feminism, but not too heavy, called ‘Living Dolls, the Return of Sexism.’ It’s very current and talks about porn, body image, lads mags, strippers etc and is a really interesting book without being too overbearing. I’d highly recommend it! And thanks again for the great post! X

    Liked by 2 people

    • Nara

      Haha! Thanks for the book rec – will definitely check it out. I am sort of “into” feminism but I often find books on it to be rather depressing! Always interested though.
      The PCOS sounds tough. I used to think maybe I had it, but I don’t have excess body hair so figured my weight gain was my own fault! ๐Ÿ˜‚ I do wax my tache every now and then but quite honestly I am too lazy and too short sighted to notice it too much! Some friends of mine with more body hair have done the laser removal and apparently it’s not too bad, but it sounds painful to me!

      Liked by 1 person

      • TryTryAgain

        The book is really good – it’s interesting without being too theoretical and heavy, I really enjoyed it ๐Ÿ™‚

        I’m kinda used to being hairy now – doesn’t bother me as much any more!! I looked into laser hair removal but it can just come back with PCOS so figured it would be a waste of money!! Xx

        Liked by 1 person

      • Nara

        Well I’ll definitely have to look it up. I haven’t read so much lately since I got the Bluetooth headphones as I can’t read and listen to music at the same time! ๐Ÿ˜‚

        I don’t really think anyone should worry too much about being hairy. But I guess that’s easy to say when you’re not very hairy! ๐Ÿ™‚ x

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Courtney

    I love this post!

    I’ve just recently started paying attention to my lady bits’ appearance again – I go in spurts. Like you, I don’t ask Brian to change anything about himself (he used to trim and I really wish he still would, but I’ve never said that in fear of what he’d request I do that I don’t care to do) so what I do with my pubes is for me. I bought a skirted bathing suit bottom with boy shorts attached under so that if I forget to shave and we decide it’s a pool day, I’m not concerned about it. I don’t have time for that shit!

    I grew up in a naked house too. My sisters and I have no problem getting dressed in front of each other to this day.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nara

      Haha! Yes! Ain’t nobody got time for that! That’s how I feel… I really think life is too short to be faffing around with my body hair, but then I’m very lazy. Each to their own! I just find it mildly amusing that we are expected to remove our body hair… It seems like a weird idea for people to decide is cool/not cool (especially as it’s not generally on display!). But each to their own. I have friends who like the bald look and say they don’t like the feeling at all!

      The naked house thing is interesting. I sort of wonder whether if we had a kid, if we would walk around naked or not. I used to growing up, but lived in a warmer climate! In the UK, I’m usually bundled up in dressing gown and slippers! ๐Ÿ˜‚

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Recurrently Unlucky

    This is a really interesting post. My experience has been much the opposite to yours. Growing up in South America, I remember when I was 12 and asked my mum to take me to a beauty salon to get my legs waxed. She said something like: “Thank God! I thought you’d never ask! I was starting to feel worried”. Yes, that’s what kept my mum up all night. Anyway, since then I regularly waxed my legs, arm pits, bikini area and moustache every 2-3 weeks. As did everyone I knew. I think waxing was popular there much earlier than in US or Europe.
    As for development, I started wearing a bra when I was 8. I have large breasts and they developed very early. By 11 yo, I was getting a lot of attention from the boys due to it and I wasn’t ready for that then. It wasn’t easy either.
    When I moved to Europe and couldn’t afford (or even find) a waxing place, I started using an epilator, which I still do. But then I only trim the sides of the bikini area, so it isn’t the same. Whenever I go to my home country now, the first thing I do is get waxed! I actually love the sensation of being hairless. But I don’t think that makes me sexist. I don’t think everyone must shave or wax. I think each person should do as they like.
    A final note, men are actually crazy about women without pubic hair since at least the 1500’s. When the first Europeans arrived at my home country, they wrote a letter back to the King, which is considered one of the most important historical documents of the time (for my country). Well, in this letter, the writer obsessively describes, again and again, the native women and their lack of pubic hair! Honestly, it’s so funny! Especially when it’s mandatory reading in middle school.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nara

      Wowsers! I think I probably developed later than most people… 8 is really early to develop though. That must have been really weird to deal with growing up. Weirdly I have quite average size boobs now (like not small) and I feel like I’d like smaller ones! They’re a bit of a pain I think.
      You sound a bit like a friend of mine from South America – she said that everyone’s into hair removal there and she herself had her entire body lasered! Sounds eye watering!

      I am totally laissez faire about other people’s hair removal – if it makes you happy then why not? I’m not judging so hopefully doesn’t come across like I think there’s a “right” idea. I like thinking about this stuff, and I find it funny how the fashion for hair (which you can’t see most of the time) has changed over my lifetime! I don’t mind the sensation of feeling hairless… It’s quite nice! But I’m not keen on the process of getting it removed! ๐Ÿ˜‚

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Amy M.

    This made me laugh! I developed everything very early (started getting boobs at about 8, period at 11, not sure how old I was when I developed hair but I know it was early!) and I remember a few things distinctly. I was probably less than 10 when the hair on my legs started turning darker, and I would use this tiny pair of travel sewing scissors that I had (they were about 2-3 inches long total) to sit on my mom’s bed and trim the hair off in secrecy. I was about 11-12 when we were at a lake, and my pubes were apparently sticking out, and my mom had a talk with me about how I “need to trim that!”…so we then had a lesson in the bathroom. I guess at this point I feel about the same as you about it…it’s part of me, and while I keep it trimmed and neat for the most part, it’s still there. Funny what a big deal the world turns it into though, isn’t it!?!?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nara

      Ah, see I love hearing people’s little vignettes like this! It’s really interesting the things we do and the things we remember as we get older.
      I think there should be some kind of handbook of things you need to know growing up! Like “At some point you’ll get pubes and you may feel more socially accepted if you trim them”! ๐Ÿ˜‚

      Liked by 1 person

  5. beanie

    Oh god, the garden metaphor killed me! I love this post!

    I also thought a lot about my down-there-hair while going through treatments, even ultrasounds when I got pregnant (cause they are internal for like 20-something weeks in my part of the world). But near the end of my pregnancy, I was told you can’t shave or wax those hairs as you get closer to the end, in case you need a c-section. So I stopped… And since have only “cleaned up”. Maybe this is more info than you care to have lol.

    You finished this post of wonderfully as well.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nara

      Ha! Glad you enjoyed it!!
      I didn’t know you’re not supposed to shave because of a c section. Why is that? Does it have to be freshly shaved or something? I did wonder whether I should go and get waxed whilst pregnant as it would probably become impossible to do later on. Never had to find out! Maybe next time!

      The funny thing is, a friend of mine is a beautician and she’s offered to wax me on numerous occasions. I said I totally am not comfortable with the idea of my friend seeing my foof! I just find the whole idea way too awkward! ๐Ÿ˜‚

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  6. Maternally Optimistic

    Great post!!
    I was definitely the oposite, big boobs at a young age, period starting aged 9.
    I think its definitely a personal choice that shouldnt be dictated by fashion or other peoples feelings. Most of my friends go completely bald but I just dont like that look. I had some laser hair removel done to my bikini line to keep it neat as I am very hairy and felt it was getting out of control and since then I justr trim the rest to keep it tidy. Hubby has never complained or mentioned a prefernce so I suit myslef!
    I find the being naked infront of your siblings bit interesting. I grew up in a naked house as well, I have a brother and sister and we all changed infornt of one another as well as out parents, that was just the norm in our house and I never thought anything of it. The result of that I think has definitely been the fact both myself and my sister are confident in our bodies even if they are far from the conventional definition of perfect.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nara

      Yes, definitely personal choice! I didn’t mean it to come across as judgy of people who do get it done. Most of my friends seem to get waxed regularly! It was more me wondering if I was a bit weird for not doing it! And also relating it back to how I feel about myself and maybe the idea that as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become less keen on restricting my body etc. I’m one of those people who doesn’t like pain and can’t be bothered to do a lot re appearance, although I do like wearing makeup. I guess I find it more fun to put on makeup than to shave or wax!

      The naked thing is maybe a generational thing. I think when we were younger it was just normal to do that, whereas there now seems to be a lot of hysteria about children being naked in front of adults. I find it sort of sad as I don’t want any child of mine to feel ashamed of their body. It’s great that you and your sister feel body confident! I wish it was easier for everyone to feel happier with their bodies… So many people seem to feel bad about them, when it’s such a small part of who we are.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Maternally Optimistic

        I don’t think it came across as judgy at all! I think its great to talk about these things. As I said people are often dictated to by whats in fashion or socially acceptable to do and dont actually think about what they want or how they want their body to be.

        Your right maybe it is a generational thing. Society is very different now when it comes to your behaviour around children, even when it is your own. I think celebs and fad diets have a lot to answer for when it comes to the way poeple arent body confident but I wonder if that will change now that the emphasis isnt on dieting and losing weight but on being healthy and being fit. It will be ineresting to see if in a few years peoples attitudes to their bodies will have changed. This sounds like a bit of a contradiction from someone who is trying to diet but I’m not doing anything extreme with it.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Nara

        Yeah, I feel like the focus has sort of shifted a bit to healthy, strong bodies rather than skinny bodies. That said, I still feel that there’s a lot of pressure on women’s appearance in particular. I sort of feel happy that I had my family as a basis and my mum’s body in particular as a reference (in terms of being a normal body that’s been fatter and thinner at different times). I think if I’d only seen really perfect celeb bodies and no “normal” bodies I would probably feel worse about myself! There’s also a heck of a lot more photoshop and filters nowadays compared to growing up. But equally I guess kids know more about the process of filtering etc now… So swings and roundabouts! All I can say is I feel a lot less stressed about body stuff than I did when I was younger, not that I think I have a better body now – I don’t! – I just feel like it matters less.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Maternally Optimistic

        Well said!
        I just wish there was articles in magazines and online that publicised this view. I think as much as some poeple know theres photo shop and filters, I think theres equal numbers who still believe everything they see in the media.
        Its just such a massive subject and even though there are small groups of people trying to promote positive attitudes, they are just a tiny drop in a huge ocean of “perfect” celebs/models

        Liked by 1 person

      • Nara

        I don’t know how I’d feel if I had grown up with it. We had supermodels but we knew they weren’t normal people. Whereas I think Photoshop is really commonplace now, so normal people feel abnormal!

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  7. EmilyMaine

    I love how you wrapped this all up. Eric spends a lot of time commenting on my body and what I wear etc and it drives me crazy. I am quite stubborn so rather than capitulate it usually means I will tell him to fuck off and do whatever I want. To be fair he has calmed of late but I am not convinced I have heard the last of it. I was feeling a bit miserable with all the IF stuff last year so was starting to get a bit shabby but still, even with that I’m not ok with him passing comment and insisting on shit. He solved one of the problems by giving me a bunch of money for clothes and now I can afford more pretty things I find I am enjoying it. I had been depriving myself a lot as felt I couldn’t afford it. As for pubes I am a trim with clippers and shave girl. I have no interest in speaking my butt cheeks for the painful waxing experience! Eric has asked if I will do it once for a birthday or something but it just isn’t going to happen! I remember when I was having my son the nurse came in to shave me for theatre once they decided on taking me for a c section and I was so proud because when she pulled back the sheets she found she didn’t need to as I had neatened it all up before going in for the birth! Hehe

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nara

      Ah, that’s not fun! I hope you told him where to go! I find there’s a balance between being supportive and encouraging the right behaviour. Right now T and I are both on diets but he started before me and it took me a while to notice! He knew I felt bad about putting on weight but didn’t really pressure me (even though I kept asking for and needing reassurance that he still found me attractive). Now that I’ve started losing weight he is pretty encouraging. My ex always made me feel fat (even though I was much thinner than I am now) and even when I was thin, I didn’t feel like he fancied me. It definitely affected how I felt about myself.
      Awesome about being ahead of the game on the birth muff prep! ๐Ÿ˜‚

      Like

      • Nara

        Haha! I can just imagine you telling someone where to go! ๐Ÿ™‚
        T is not perfect, especially when he comes home drunk (like he did this week after his boys’ night out!) but he is great in so many ways that I feel glad to have found him!

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      • EmilyMaine

        Yeah and I must say that Eric, for all his faults, is pretty good too. He is incredibly generous and takes my lead on parenting which is awesome. I try to do less telling off these days but I’m human lol

        Liked by 1 person

  8. patientsubfertility

    This is so funny! I got laser hair removal right after college because I couldn’t stand the thought of being shaved by a nurse to give birth someday, and didn’t have time to keep up with it. Obviously, I did not know how many people would later see my bits.

    My first round of IVF and second failed pregnancy reversed my laser hair removal about 20%. I wish it hadn’t reversed the armpits, it was nice not to think about it. I thought about getting it done again, but it would just be reversed by fertility drugs. Fun side effect!

    Like

  9. circumstance227

    Wow. I feel so out of it. I’ve never had any sense of fashion of any kind (clothes, hair styles, accessories, shoes, cosmetics . . .) – my older sister got all of that and there was none left for me in the gene pool. I had no idea that body hair went through fashion trends too. I bet my sister knows all of this.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nara

      Haha. I have been wondering about it for a while and I also talked with my friends about it! I think maybe I’m a tmi sort of person! ๐Ÿ˜‰ I’m the same as you though in terms of my sister being waaaay more advanced than I am. I’ve only really gotten into clothes and makeup in the last 5 years or something. I was basically a tomboy when I met my ex… I think I’m still naturally a tomboy but I like to dress up and play at being female every now and then!

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  10. 30yr old nothing

    This was a great read! I’m super hairy down there and everywhere, it sucks! I did laser hair removal. It didn’t work 100% because it hurt like hell but I’d do it again. I wish I could laser hair remove my whole hairy body! I have sideburns! Sideburns! Okay, rant over.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nara

      Ha! Sideburns… Doesn’t everyone have them? I have long hair so I don’t know if it’s sideburns or not! Or do you mean beardy on your face?! That must be a pain! I have friends who have done the laser hair removal and I’m just glad I don’t have to do it, because I don’t like pain! Hopefully it makes it much easier for you to deal with!

      Like

  11. RJ

    You are the best blogger ever! This post is so entertaining (I’m not even sure if you meant it to be but I just cracked up all throughout it). It’s so fascinating how different areas of the world treat this issue. I used to care a lot as a teenager about my pubes sticking out my bikini line, so much so that I rarely swam or wore a swimsuit. As an adult, I learned to wax myself so I didn’t have to be so self-conscious, but the older I get the less I care. I actually don’t like when they get longish as it’s super itchy, so I just shave. However, I am still uncomfortable in a bathing suit…

    I’m also currently getting my armpit hair removed by laser…I hope it works! I get such bad ingrown hairs that I would do anything to stop it. Bummer to hear that fertility treatment can render the treatment ineffective. Grrrr.

    Thanks for another fantastic post!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nara

      Ha! I was trying to be a bit funny! I just find it such a funny subject! ๐Ÿ˜‚
      I can’t believe you wax yourself – that’s commitment! I am a wuss with pain so I can’t be bothered to try and inflict that on myself! I get the long thing too. I just trim if I feel it’s too luxuriant! ๐Ÿ˜‚
      I don’t like ingrown hairs either. I have got them before when I’ve shaved my bikini line and it’s nasty! Poor you! Hope it works for you!
      I’ve never heard the thing about fertility treatment before. Hope it doesn’t happen to you!

      Liked by 1 person

  12. calcandide

    I developed relatively early, but my boobs never got huge. However, my father was Jewish (and still would be if he was alive!), and I take after him so I have olive skin and lots and lots and lots of dark hair, everywhere. I remember when I was on the swim team in high school, and a guy looked at my bikini line and then commented really loudly to his friend about how gross it was (ironically, he turned out to be gay). I started cleaning up my bikini line, which still left me with more hair than most people, but once I started commuting by bicycle and rock-climbing regularly, the chafing and ingrown hairs became a HUGE problem, so I eventually stopped shaving down there and now I just wear boyshorts for swimming. I’m considering getting laser hair removal just so I don’t have to worry about my bikini line anymore, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be skinny enough to feel comfortable in regular swimsuit bottoms again!

    And I do shave my armpits year-round, and my legs in the summer, but only because I like the way it feels. I don’t ask my husband to do anything (and he’s REALLY hairy), and what I do, I do for me, not him.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nara

      Argh! We all have those horrible stories, right? Sorry you had to go through that! It’s cool that you cycle and rock climb! I used to be way more active and it’s true that it probably feels better (sweat wise!) to be a bit less hairy! I guess being in the uk we don’t swim that much so I don’t have to do that very often! I’m the same re bikinis though. For the first time I actually bought a swimsuit! But haven’t been swimming for ages!
      I wouldn’t ask a guy to shave. I quite like body hair on men! I used to know a guy who shaved his back and chest, which seemed like a weird thing to do (and looked painful when he did it!). Each to their own. I just felt bad for him that he would think that it wasn’t attractive. You should definitely do whatever you do for you and not for anyone else!

      Like

  13. thegriefdiariesblog

    Well written! I often think about waxing if I’m having procedures, and during summer, but otherwise I’m not fussed. I’m happy so long as it’s tidy, and I will probably never ever go completely bare. I’m not a child any more, why look like one, right? Good on you for doing what you’re comfortable with ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  14. flatwhitetogo85

    Sorry – just catching up!

    This is brilliant. How hilarious! Isn’t it weird that we never really talk about this, yet we probably all have similar experiences, thoughts and questions on the matter?!

    Like many of the other posters, I was an early developer (although I’m still waiting for my boobs to grow!). I started my period around 10/11 years old and I felt like such a freak. I also developed hair (pubes, armpits, legs etc) at a much earlier age than my friends and I was MORTIFIED. I remember thinking how gross I was for having pubes and not being ‘delicate’ and ‘ladylike’ like the other girls!

    As for all the fertility appointments, I’ve usually had waxes before them (Brazilian, since you asked). Every time I’ve obsessed about where the line is between “unkempt” and “p*rn star”. I’ve actually given the waxes more attention when visiting the DRs than I have for BT ๐Ÿ™‚

    Perhaps you could test the water with T an get a vagazzle?x

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nara

      Hahahaha there is NO WAY I am getting a vajazzle. Can you imagine picking diamantรฉ out of your foof?! Not happening!
      I think small boobs are better personally! I wish mine were a bit smaller and perkier! ๐Ÿ™‚ You’ll be happy once you get to my age! My sister has small boobs and hated them growing up and said she was going to get a boob job, but now is really happy not to have saggy boobs!
      It turns out that a lot of people have Brazilians… I think it’s the most common in the UK… Possibly! I don’t know as people don’t talk about it! But it seems most of my friends do!

      Like

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