IVF 2: The ballad of the TWW


I’m currently on Day 5 of the dreaded two week wait. There isn’t a lot to report really because I’m STILL WAITING. However, I thought for the purposes of completeness I should do an update. (Well, that and the fact that I’m working my notice at work, so guess how busy I am?)

I had to look up the expectations online, because I’m a bit rubbish about actually knowing what stuff is. I found a really handy resource here, which tells you exactly where you’re meant to be at.

Where I’m at (for my own benefit as I never understood all the numbers and letters)

Cycle day 19 – Monday 2 May – 5-day transfer

Cycle day 20 – Tuesday 3 May – 1dp5dt (1 day past 5 day transfer)

Cycle day 21 – Wednesday 4 May – 2dp5dt

Cycle day 22 – Thursday 5 May – 3dp5dt

Cycle day 23 – Friday 6 May – TODAY! – 4dp5dt

Apparently many people start POAS (peeing on a stick) today, on the basis that the HCG (what shows up in pregnancy tests) should be out of your system from the trigger. For me it seems too early so I haven’t done it.

According to the online resource, I’m supposed to have the official test next Wednesday 9dp5dt – which is the day that in the US and elsewhere they’d do the first beta. We don’t do betas here – we just do a home pregnancy test, and they’ve told us to do it on Saturday, which is 12dp5dt. Also we don’t do further betas and if the home pregnancy test is positive we don’t do anything until the 6th week of pregnancy where you have a scan at 6-7 weeks. That seems a bit nuts.

I haven’t entirely decided when to test. I bought some HPTs (home pregnancy tests) online as they’re a bit expensive in Boots (our high street chemist in the UK). Like they’re about £9 one off or I got 4 First Response on Amazon for about £15 so it seemed worth it. The standard HPT they give us to test from the clinic is Clearblue and I still have loads of Clearblue in my drawer from last time (the only time I ever had positive pregnancy tests) so I sort of wanted to have a different collection. Sounds silly but I didn’t want to connect those ones with this one. Obviously it could be negative anyway so I’m thinking I’ll probably do the first HPT before Saturday (the official test day just over a week from now). Maybe Thursday or Friday. I need to prepare myself for the possibility of a negative.

Anyway I’ve been symptom spotting like a lunatic. Or even not, as I don’t feel pregnant at all. I can’t even remember what it felt like. I’ve had a few things but I think they’re probably mainly psychological.

  • Big humungaboobs – They don’t actually hurt as such but they’re still stupidly big. Pretty sure this is the progesterone (Crinone gel) taking effect plus the hangover from all the IVF drugs.
  • Headaches – I’ve been having lots of headaches. I think this is probably psychological. Also I am prone to them and I usually take painkillers and I haven’t been taking painkillers so maybe that’s why. Plus I’m stressed out thinking about this and today I have the tension headache associated with teeth grinding. I know, I sound like a nutcase! I am not even stressed about work or anything but I think I’m stressed about waiting. I try not to clench my jaw but then I realise I muse have been doing it because my entire jaw and temples ache. Argh.
  • Swollen stomach – Probably just the IVF drugs.
  • Slight twinges – I had a few twinges in my right ovary area. I don’t know if this is anything but a hangover from egg collection, but wasn’t ideal.
  • Increased appetite – I think this is psychological. I just want to eat more! I’m greedy! Then again I haven’t wanted to eat pizza quite as much as usual, but this might be because I’ve just had so much of it lately. I’m more thinking about fruit. But that’s because we’re in a heatwave.
  • Constipation – This is really weird as I usually don’t get constipated. (Sorry for the TMI.) I have been a bit constipated lately and that’s strange for me, but then I’m taking a shedload of meds so there’s ever chance that constipation is a side effect of one or more of them. It’s not terrible but I have noticed it.

On the plus side, I also noticed that I wasn’t getting hay fever and T was. Mine is usually much worse than his and I totally suffered last year when I was pregnant and couldn’t take anything. Strangely this time they said I could take antihistamines but I’m currently fine even though we are in the middle of a heatwave in London. Then it hit me – the only other time I’ve had prednisolone was for my extreme hayfever! What a turn up for the books. I’m actually hayfeverless for the first summer in ages because of the steroids! I’m taking those for the NK cell reaction immune stuff.

So… I’ve been quite good at taking my meds and even become used to the horrid heparin injection. The bruises on my stomach haven’t gone away though! Seriously there is a massive one and I’m wondering if it’s there for good! 

This is roughly how my thought process is going right now:

“I wonder if I’m pregnant I don’t feel pregnant but then again maybe [something] is a pregnancy symptom I wonder if I’m pregnant I can’t be pregnant OMG imagine if I have to go through this another time I hope if it doesn’t work we can go to Disney I wonder if I’m pregnant when shall I test I don’t know if it’s a good idea to test early I don’t think I’m pregnant but then if I wasn’t pregnant would I get my period how does it work I wonder if I might be pregnant?”

Yeah. It’s a bit of a head****.

I’ve been spending a load of time back online on FB (finally got back to commenting and liking things, and I’ve happily unfollowed all my friends who post endless photos of babies NOT YOU ASHLEY I LOVE YOU!) and also I’ve been participating in a load of online discussions about adoption this week, so that’s been quite interesting and slightly stressful. I think I’m just thinking of ways to take my mind of the endless merry-go-round of thinking about the wait.

This weekend is meant to be hotter than Ibiza in London! Crazy. I am feeling way under confident in my summer body and don’t have the right clothes for my fatness. (I realised today that my “forgiving” dress just makes me look like I’m trying to hide a pregnancy… How ironic.) I am hoping at least by next weekend we know one way or the other and if it’s bad news I can just hunker down and stop the boob-boosting meds and lose some weight and not feel like a giant blob. 

Happy Friday everyone!

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35 comments

  1. Amy M.

    It’s so hard not to symptom spot and wonder what things may or may not mean. As for your bruises…I’m not sure if they have this over there, but a friend told me about Arnica gel. It’s a cool gel that you rub on bruises (or other painful things) and it works pretty fast. I used it a ton when I was on the Lovenox previously for my clots, and have used it a couple times recently when I hit a blood vessel with my shot and bruised like crazy. That one hurt so bad, but I used the gel at night and by morning I felt nothing at all. The bruise is still there (2 weeks later) but fading. It does help fade them faster, but I only used it twice to help with the pain and initial lump that was present. I forgot to ask my Dr if it’s safe for the baby, but I absolutely couldn’t keep having that huge lump of pain on my belly anymore so I just went for it at first. Anyway, take a look at your pharmacy or Wal-Mart type of store, hopefully it will help if you find it!

    Like

    • Nara

      Thanks! We do have arnica over here. I’m actually not really bothered by the bruise but I obviously hit something because it’s MASSIVE.

      I am hoping that the TWW goes quicker than it has been… Argh!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Marixsa

    Big hugs! I just posted something eerily similar on day 5 of my TWW… something about that day must be our breaking point between somewhat-sanity and fullout crazy. I hope your wait goes quickly and uneventfully and ends in wonderful results!

    Like

    • Nara

      Haha, I wonder if I’ve tipped into full crazy?! I am hoping to distract myself this weekend… Aaaagh! Hope yours is good too!

      Like

  3. Arwen

    I totally did the same thing with hpts, first BFN we used first response so second cycle I got clear blue cos I wanted a different batch not associated with the BFN haha.
    The tww is a bitch.

    Like

  4. waitingbetweenthelines

    I actually support the lack of beta testing… Truthfully, all it does is tell you that something is wrong but not what and there is no treatment anyway. In my experience the constant beta testing did not help but only made my anxiety worse. In terms of the jaw pain… I was told to stick the tip of my tongue between my teeth as it forces the jaw to relax… It helped me!

    Like

    • Nara

      Yes I did wonder about that. And you are right, the tongue thing works! Although I look like an idiot sitting here with my tongue out! 😂

      Like

  5. thegreatpuddingclubhunt

    Just one more week!!! Hang in there!!!! I think the 2WW is a lot harder when you are not busy at work! But sounds like you are busying yourself with fun things 🙂

    I totally get your brain with the back and forth about being pregnant! It’s a killer and I’m sure pretty “normal”.

    It was 9DP5DT that my OHSS symptoms came back, I know some clinics here in the US test on that day…but I have also heard stories of ladies who get a negative on their HPT that day but get a positive on the blood test. SO if you do test that day you need to hang on to hope for a few more days in case it is negative…..which is so hard! But this was the reason I decided not to test then and wait to 12DP5DT. Personally, I am in the mind of it being a good thing not having all these betas. Ughhhh!!! I wonder if someone has ever considered doing a whole thesis on the topic of the psyche (both men and women!) going through the 2WW!!!

    Happy TFI Friday!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Courtney

    Are you REALLY going to wait until NEXT Saturday? Don’t do that to me!! 😉

    My clinic does the first beta at 12dp5dt, and most people I know here were tested 10-12dp5dt. I got tested early (10dp5dt) because we were going to be out of town, and they felt bad for me after everything I’d been through. With Bryson, they calculated the dates wrong and tested me at 11dp5dt and I thought I’d hit the jackpot! I knew with him, though, at 3.5dp5dt because I am a chronic tester… I even POAS until the first ultrasound.

    All that to say…. pee on something this weekend, please. 😉

    Like

  7. ashleykyleanderson

    Aw love, you know you can unfollow me if it makes things even a tiny bit easier. I would more than understand! Every time I post a picture I hope that it doesn’t hurt anyone, and I try to keep them to a minimum.

    I do think this is a little early to test… I don’t think I’d do it. It was a little bit of a relief in a way that I didn’t actually have the option. Otherwise I may have given in after about a week or so. But Elle didn’t want to test early at home either and I didn’t want her to know before we did, so we had to wait for beta day.

    Regardless of what you choose to do, I hope this wait goes FAST!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. EmilyMaine

    argh it is such a head****. You are right about that! If it makes you feel any better I had no symptoms whatsoever leading into this pregnancy and I actually thought my implantation bleed was my period. It took me awhile to cotton on and was only as I kept getting funky bloods back so couldn’t start my cycle!

    I have to laugh at the British and their “heatwaves”. We had an article here saying you were having a whopping 23C. We are heading into winter and our days aren’t that cold yet…and yes, I call it cold. Well, it’s fresh. Sunny and 23C is really so pleasant. I wish we could have more of that sometimes hehe

    Have a great weekend. Don’t let the head beat you! xxx

    Like

    • Nara

      Hahaha. I told T about this. He’s spent a lot of time in Aus and we agreed we wouldn’t be up to the heat! You would find it positively balmy!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. AKL

    The two positive FETs I’ve had about day 4-5 I get intense back pain / cramps / general discomfort however I sit or lie. I’m pretty sure that has been implantation day for me but everyone feels stuff differently. Usually my boobs start to get bigger after that has happened and then a few days later I start to feel tired. Before that, I’m pretty much the same as ever. I think the increased hunger is due to boredom (it is in my case), although once confirmed pregnant I have noticed I get hungry faster than normal! Anyway, good luck (I’d pee on a stick sometime next week if I was you). xx

    Liked by 1 person

  10. flatwhitetogo85

    What a total head f*ck. Just keep doing whatever you can to take your mind off things (is it even possible to take your mind off things?!).

    I’m sorry the bruises haven’t gone down, but yay for the lack of hay fever!

    I don’t know why we don’t do beta testing in the UK (I assume funding). When I got my BFP I asked if mine could be tested as I wanted to check the figures were doubling/increasing as they should, but the doctors point blank refused. It’s quite stressful because a pregnancy test only shows you that you have recently been pregnant.

    As for this “heatwave”. WTAF? I was so excited about this weekend but looking out the window it’s just grey and rainy. I feel cheated!

    Have a good weekend x

    Liked by 1 person

  11. The EcoFeminist

    Wow never heard of the pee test that early…my doc does the blood test at 9 days and I heard 8 is the bare minimum…the first 2 failed cycles I didn’t do a test but the third I did and the negative made going in for my blood test really bad – I don’t think I want to do it for our final #4 try, but there is one test left in our bathroom so I’m fully expecting myself to do it no matter what I say, ha. I knew mine didn’t work when I wasn’t getting the spotting for some reason. Hang in there & good luck 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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