IVF 2: The ballad of the TWW

I’m currently on Day 5 of the dreaded two week wait. There isn’t a lot to report really because I’m STILL WAITING. However, I thought for the purposes of completeness I should do an update. (Well, that and the fact that I’m working my notice at work, so guess how busy I am?)

I had to look up the expectations online, because I’m a bit rubbish about actually knowing what stuff is. I found a really handy resource here, which tells you exactly where you’re meant to be at.

Where I’m at (for my own benefit as I never understood all the numbers and letters)

Cycle day 19 – Monday 2 May – 5-day transfer

Cycle day 20 – Tuesday 3 May – 1dp5dt (1 day past 5 day transfer)

Cycle day 21 – Wednesday 4 May – 2dp5dt

Cycle day 22 – Thursday 5 May – 3dp5dt

Cycle day 23 – Friday 6 May – TODAY! – 4dp5dt

Apparently many people start POAS (peeing on a stick) today, on the basis that the HCG (what shows up in pregnancy tests) should be out of your system from the trigger. For me it seems too early so I haven’t done it.

According to the online resource, I’m supposed to have the official test next Wednesday 9dp5dt – which is the day that in the US and elsewhere they’d do the first beta. We don’t do betas here – we just do a home pregnancy test, and they’ve told us to do it on Saturday, which is 12dp5dt. Also we don’t do further betas and if the home pregnancy test is positive we don’t do anything until the 6th week of pregnancy where you have a scan at 6-7 weeks. That seems a bit nuts.

I haven’t entirely decided when to test. I bought some HPTs (home pregnancy tests) online as they’re a bit expensive in Boots (our high street chemist in the UK). Like they’re about £9 one off or I got 4 First Response on Amazon for about £15 so it seemed worth it. The standard HPT they give us to test from the clinic is Clearblue and I still have loads of Clearblue in my drawer from last time (the only time I ever had positive pregnancy tests) so I sort of wanted to have a different collection. Sounds silly but I didn’t want to connect those ones with this one. Obviously it could be negative anyway so I’m thinking I’ll probably do the first HPT before Saturday (the official test day just over a week from now). Maybe Thursday or Friday. I need to prepare myself for the possibility of a negative.

Anyway I’ve been symptom spotting like a lunatic. Or even not, as I don’t feel pregnant at all. I can’t even remember what it felt like. I’ve had a few things but I think they’re probably mainly psychological.

• Big humungaboobs – They don’t actually hurt as such but they’re still stupidly big. Pretty sure this is the progesterone (Crinone gel) taking effect plus the hangover from all the IVF drugs.
• Headaches – I’ve been having lots of headaches. I think this is probably psychological. Also I am prone to them and I usually take painkillers and I haven’t been taking painkillers so maybe that’s why. Plus I’m stressed out thinking about this and today I have the tension headache associated with teeth grinding. I know, I sound like a nutcase! I am not even stressed about work or anything but I think I’m stressed about waiting. I try not to clench my jaw but then I realise I muse have been doing it because my entire jaw and temples ache. Argh.
• Swollen stomach – Probably just the IVF drugs.
• Slight twinges – I had a few twinges in my right ovary area. I don’t know if this is anything but a hangover from egg collection, but wasn’t ideal.
• Increased appetite – I think this is psychological. I just want to eat more! I’m greedy! Then again I haven’t wanted to eat pizza quite as much as usual, but this might be because I’ve just had so much of it lately. I’m more thinking about fruit. But that’s because we’re in a heatwave.
• Constipation – This is really weird as I usually don’t get constipated. (Sorry for the TMI.) I have been a bit constipated lately and that’s strange for me, but then I’m taking a shedload of meds so there’s ever chance that constipation is a side effect of one or more of them. It’s not terrible but I have noticed it.

On the plus side, I also noticed that I wasn’t getting hay fever and T was. Mine is usually much worse than his and I totally suffered last year when I was pregnant and couldn’t take anything. Strangely this time they said I could take antihistamines but I’m currently fine even though we are in the middle of a heatwave in London. Then it hit me – the only other time I’ve had prednisolone was for my extreme hayfever! What a turn up for the books. I’m actually hayfeverless for the first summer in ages because of the steroids! I’m taking those for the NK cell reaction immune stuff.

So… I’ve been quite good at taking my meds and even become used to the horrid heparin injection. The bruises on my stomach haven’t gone away though! Seriously there is a massive one and I’m wondering if it’s there for good! 

This is roughly how my thought process is going right now:

“I wonder if I’m pregnant I don’t feel pregnant but then again maybe [something] is a pregnancy symptom I wonder if I’m pregnant I can’t be pregnant OMG imagine if I have to go through this another time I hope if it doesn’t work we can go to Disney I wonder if I’m pregnant when shall I test I don’t know if it’s a good idea to test early I don’t think I’m pregnant but then if I wasn’t pregnant would I get my period how does it work I wonder if I might be pregnant?”

Yeah. It’s a bit of a head****.

I’ve been spending a load of time back online on FB (finally got back to commenting and liking things, and I’ve happily unfollowed all my friends who post endless photos of babies NOT YOU ASHLEY I LOVE YOU!) and also I’ve been participating in a load of online discussions about adoption this week, so that’s been quite interesting and slightly stressful. I think I’m just thinking of ways to take my mind of the endless merry-go-round of thinking about the wait.

This weekend is meant to be hotter than Ibiza in London! Crazy. I am feeling way under confident in my summer body and don’t have the right clothes for my fatness. (I realised today that my “forgiving” dress just makes me look like I’m trying to hide a pregnancy… How ironic.) I am hoping at least by next weekend we know one way or the other and if it’s bad news I can just hunker down and stop the boob-boosting meds and lose some weight and not feel like a giant blob. 

Happy Friday everyone!