IVF 2: Scan update (10.5 weeks)

An update on our scan today… But will start at the beginning.

Yesterday I spent the day on a yacht with my new team! It could be worse! It was a great trip, although slightly knackered by the fact I had to get up at 04:30 to get to the harbour in time. Also, given we live in a studio apartment (open plan), T was watching Brexit all night so I kept sort of drifting off and waking up and hearing the news. If you’ve been in a cave somewhere, the U.K. voted by a tiny majority to Leave the European Union. Crazy. I never thought that would happen.

Anyway, the aftermath of Brexit exploded all over Facebook and I was somewhat preoccupied with being on a yacht, and trying to avoid drinking – because it was a team bonding trip, so I didn’t have much time to worry about the terrible things happening in the world. I know, I know. I feel really shocked and disappointed with the result, but I’m hoping it is never going to happen.

It was a really fun trip. Although of course I was exhausted with no sleep and the pregnancy exhaustion. I found the rest of the team really fun. My boss is an absolute character – he’s so funny, and it made me feel glad to be working for someone who everyone likes and speaks highly of (usually in the context of “He’s crazy but he’s a great boss”) – it made me think that I had made the right decision. The two bosses (I originally interviewed with the one I don’t work for now but he appears to have no hard feelings, and they both work in the same overall team, so it’s not a horrible thing) are both really nice… And it was funny when they both stripped off and jumped in the sea for a swim! That doesn’t happen every day. 

We sailed over to the Isle of Wight and had lunch. They wanted a proper boozy lunch and I was really proud of myself for not drinking and not drawing attention to it. I had a quiet word with the waitress and said I wasn’t drinking but would rather they didn’t know, and could she bring me something that looked like a G&T – and she did! So it was cool. Plus on the yacht could plead a bit of seasickness! Fortunately most of the team had been there the night before and so were massively hungover – so there was less pressure to get really drunk, which was what I was worried about. In any normal situation I would have been enthusiastically partaking! All in all it was a nice day and great to meet my new team members. And I had pavlova at lunch for dessert. My favourite dessert! It was gigantic, as big as my hand!

Finally got back home. Last night we spent our first night in our new flat! Which was like camping. Of course, I managed to screw up the packing – we brought bedding and clothes and toiletries but NO TOWELS. Omg. T being T got up early this morning and went shopping and bought us some nice big bath towels! Phew! I didn’t want to go to the scan with greasy hair and not having had a shower! I still love the flat (just as well). We learned it retains a lot of heat, so I definitely needed a shower and we will be using our air con / standing fan most nights I think! 

It’s nice seeing a few of our things in there. I was full on pregnancy faddy last night and had cinnamon cereal with milk in a disposable bowl with disposable spoon, as we forgot to bring any crockery/cutlery! Ha. We are moving on Tuesday so had just brought a few things. Dog is staying with his dogparents (like godparents but for dogs) as they wanted him this weekend and it was sort of handy as it gave us a chance to do more packing, and not worry when we were out for the scan, etc.

This morning after my shower (phew) we headed out to see Dr S. He’s out of town so it took a while to get there but we were fine. I sort of felt a bit of nausea with having to rush around.

There was one horrible thing that happened… We had just arrived near the surgery and I got a flurry of abusive messages (via FB) from a girl who lives in our building. I mean, four pages of vitriol. It was shocking. Back story: She moved in recently with her boyfriend. I run the building’s FB group which is meant to build community and everyone had said nice things about and enjoyed… Since she moved in, she fell out with the neighbours by playing loud music at 5am (I think I mentioned this) and since then had a sort of vendetta with the older guy in the building who is the typical grumpy old man who complains about everything. Most of us sort of ignore him, but in this case they fell out, and most of us felt a modicum of sympathy as he has a baby and it’s probably not what you want to hear at 5am. They had an altercation and since then, every time he posted on the FB group, she would write some long winded antagonistic response. Other neighbours complained that it stopped them wanting to use the group, so in the end I implemented rules saying that it’s not to be used for personal issues.

Turns out last night they had a barbecue and lots of the neighbours went – I would have gone too, but we had already planned to spend the night at the new place. One of the neighbours took it upon himself to tell her something I had said about her to him – in a message – that there seemed to be a lot of negativity since the new neighbours’ arrival. I don’t know how he thought that saying this would help the situation – he’s one of those people who thinks he’s everyone’s friend and he can fix everything, and the message was mostly that I (and other people) didn’t think she was helping herself by falling out with neighbours, and it just brought a lot of negativity to the place. Apparently he thought he was helping her or something…

Anyway I got these ranty messages… Pages and pages of them. I said I didn’t even know her and we were moving out, and I didn’t know what she heard… And she then said I was accused of saying “The new neighbours have brought a lot of negativity” – which I did, because they had! I wasn’t the only person to say that – which is why the rules were brought in (and people thanked me in person after). She was basically screaming at me over messenger. I was shaken, because I was waiting for the scan, and I was anxious. I replied and said that I was in a doctor’s surgery and to stop messaging me because I was very stressed and didn’t have time for it – and she just carried on!

I was literally sitting in Dr S’s waiting room with my hands shaking. So upset. In the end I blocked her, but not after she had sent me multiple horrible messages. (I can’t explain exactly but imagine that I have 8 pages of screenshots, most of which is her ranting at me, and me telling her to stop messaging me.) Not what I needed at all.

We went in to see Dr S and he could see I was upset… T was telling me not to respond, but honestly I was so shaken. You don’t imagine someone can basically invade your phone and not stop until you block them.

Anyway… We had our scan. We are 10 weeks and 3 days.

Our baby was wriggling around like a little fish! Still doesn’t exactly look like a baby. He/she was upside down, and then there were two little dots which you could see flailing around on either side which are his arms. He/she didn’t look like those baby pictures you see on ultrasounds! Of course our baby would be upside down! I guess he was probably feeling my stress, which I was really upset about. But he was there, and wriggling, and his heart rate was 167 and Dr S thought he was fine. He took a few measurements and he was variously 10w3d, 10w4d and 10w5d depending on the way he was lying. But it was nice to see him. (Or her?)

Then they took bloods for my next scan. We are having the Harmony and Nuchal scans. He asked if we wanted to know gender, which we get from Harmony. I said yes! T said he wasn’t bothered, but he was happy to know. We discussed it and thought it would be nice to know. I don’t know if I would prefer one or the other. I think I would prefer a boy, and I’ve always thought about having a boy, but then I think it’s nice for a dad if he can have a little girl to dote on, and I know what it’s like to be a girl, so I think either will be good! We have way more names agreed for a boy, but not sure yet for a girl – our favourite girls’ name is a nickname, and I think it’s nice to have a “proper” name as well as a nickname (especially when you’re older) – so we thought at least if we find out we can knock out half the names!

The great news is I only have 2 more weeks of steroids and can then start weaning off. Also Dr S said no more Fragmin and even if I run out before 12 weeks I can stop it! Yay! The Fragmin is definitely the worst bit. (Heparin that gives me massive bruises on my stomach and I hate injecting because it hurts.)

Then we went for breakfast at Bill’s! I love Bill’s. I had a nice hot chocolate!

As well as a cooked breakfast, of course!

We got back home and did some packing. It’s weird without Dog being here, but it did mean we got more done. I was super relieved about the scan, but also really really upset with the messages from the neighbour. I also figured out who must have told her, and it was another neighbour who was collecting a load of our furniture (for free), and I got this awful feeling and asked T to take the stuff outside so I wouldn’t have to see him, when he had caused so much trouble. After dinner I ended up messaging him and explaining what had happened, because I was just feeling so awful about it, and we only have a few more days here. I’m now terrified I’m going to see her and she’s going to start screaming or something. (I can’t describe the messages for anonymity but I sent shots to my sister and she was like, ignore her, she’s obviously a psycho.)

Anyway he got all upset and begged forgiveness and said he was only trying to help, etc. (Err how do you think it ever helps to stir up sh*t with people who’ve shown themselves to be completely nuts and aggressive to anyone who they perceive has disagreed with them?) It was annoying trying to deal with his “I’m so upset you’re upset” stuff but at least I felt better getting it off my chest. He even suggested going to speak with her and I was like Nooooooo! We are leaving. But if we hadn’t been, I think we would definitely be considering it!

So that’s that. Scary. But hopefully soon over. We never had crazy people like that in our old place! We have removals booked for Tuesday, so tomorrow (Sunday) will be getting the rest of the packing sorted, before Dog comes home.

Our next scan is our booking appointment which will be in one week, next Sunday! That’s our 11.5 week NHS scan where you meet the midwife. And see the hospital. It’s right near where we have moved to, which is great, and has good reviews. Exciting! It somehow seems like less time to wait, I guess because it is. Yay. Then our next private scan (Nuchal) is a few days after that at exactly 12 weeks. Hopefully within a week we get our genetic results from the Harmony scan, and the gender of the baby… I am hoping there are no abnormalities. Baby already has enough to deal with, with us as parents! If we get a bit further then we decided we will get a private 3D scan so we don’t have to go weeks and weeks without scans. I will probably get a Doppler too if we get that far…

So this time next week we will be in our new house, and about to get our NHS scan, and in a few days our 12 weeks scan (and intralipids). Here’s to new beginnings!