IVF 2: Telling the boss, and other stories (17 weeks)

17 weeks today*. Crazy to think. I’m still in that hinterland of wondering if this pregnancy will “stick”, and trying to disguise my growing belly. At the moment, I look properly pregnant in casual clothes (ie fitted tops and maternity jeans with a belly band) and just fat in work clothes (the few clothes that still fit me, because they’re loose). I have bought a few maternity dresses, but I don’t feel comfortable wearing them yet (possibly ever… They’re a bit horrendous!) as I’m not “out out” at work. (*It’s after midnight so: yesterday!)

Anyway, lots of updates so here are some vignettes.

“We were getting on so well!”

So this week I had my first appointment with the consultant. The NHS (the UK’s National Health Service) gives you a set number of appointments in a fairly standard format. I had my first appointment with the midwife – the “booking appointment” where they ask you loads of questions and get you in the system, and last week I had my first community midwife appointment. So I’m in the system for midwives! Astoundingly, they don’t want to see me again until 25 weeks, so that feels a bit weird. If I didn’t have the private scans and things it would be weeks and weeks between seeing people. As it is, it’s already several weeks between appointments.

But anyway. I meant to show you this… Which is all the palaver you get from the booking appointment. I was quite gobsmacked as it seems like a lot of stuff. I guess it varies from trust to trust (depending on where you live) but I think everyone gets the booklet (the purple thing) which contains all the notes on your pregnancy. Also included was a bunch of stuff sponsored by Bounty (I think it’s a parents’ club, not the chocolate bar!) which included a magazine and a load of information and a folder to keep your stuff in. It also had a sample of Sudocrem (for nappy rash), washing detergent (like we non-parents don’t wash clothes?!) and three packs of pregnancy vitamins, which the midwife told me were “just like Pregnacare”. That saves a bit of money then. (Pregnacare costs quite a lot.) 


I thought it’s interesting how you get so much stuff just for getting knocked up. I mean, apart from us infertiles, people do this without a problem all the time. Seems a bit OTT. But I kind of enjoyed reading the magazine. Apparently I’m due four more throughout the pregnancy, so we’ll see.

Anyway, back to the consultant. I turned up, got my urine tested with the nurse – good news, the antibiotics seem to have done the trick and I had no sign of a UTI. Then in to meet the consultant.

We had a great appointment! It was really quite funny as he seemed very sympathetic and we sort of joked around a bit and I enjoyed speaking with him. He was nice when I said I’m apparently obese – he said I looked fine, and then looked up my BMI (31 at last measurement – so much higher than I’ve ever been) and started muttering about how BMI was useless. He was really reassuring and was sympathetic about our loss last year, and it turns out he actually works part time at the hospital where we had IVF! So he was really pleased to hear it had worked. (He wouldn’t have assumed we had gone to that hospital as we have moved area since having IVF and are now quite far away.)

He gave me some tips about scans. Apparently in our NHS hospital, you have to pay for prints of your scans. Annoyingly, they didn’t offer us this option last time. We’ll know for next time. He also advised us to go and get a 3D scan (“It’ll do no harm and put your mind at ease”) so we will probably do that at some point soon.

Also when I told him I was really anxious, he was sooo nice. He asked if I wanted to have any extra scans and I said, “Sure!” and he booked me in for a bunch of extra scans. He offered to listen to baby’s heartbeat, but then I told him I’d just listened to it on the doppler that morning about an hour earlier, so we didn’t bother. He asked about extra medication and I ‘fessed up about the immune protocol and he was perfectly fine with it! I said I just wanted to throw the book at it and he said he completely understood. He was so nice about it that I thought I would introduce…

“I’d like an elective Caesarian, please!”

At which point he laughed and said, “But we were getting on so well!” He explained that it’s not supported by our trust and that if there are no contraindications, there wasn’t an argument for it just for maternal request. He said that he really thought I should talk to a senior midwife about it, and said he’d write a letter. I said I’d seen One Born Every Minute and it looks awful, and there are like a million things I’m scared about natural childbirth, including: not wanting to push an entire human through my foof and get possible incontinence, episiotomy, lack of sex life, etc etc; really not wanting a forceps birth having studied neuroscience and seeing the stats on how risky it is; a probable paranoid feeling that the baby might die in natural childbirth through being in there too long, getting stuck in the birth canal, etc… And generally just the fact that I have a really low pain threshold and I am a lot less scared of surgery (of which I’ve had a fair amount) than baby and foof damage.

Anyway, he was quite sympathetic about it. He said he wanted me to talk with the senior midwife and understand more (“One Born Every Minute should be banned!” he said, and “Childbirth is the most natural thing in the world!”) and if I consistently wanted a Caesarian all through my pregnancy (“It’s still early!” he said) then he thought that it would be possible for him to help me get that. (He warned me, “I’ll have to write a load of scary things about you on your forms” – I said I would be fine with this! T says I’m a psycho anyway!) 

I don’t write this because I want any of you to persuade me one way or the other. I have fairly firm ideas and fears about this, and I know that in other countries, childbirth is highly medicalised. Also, there is a difference between an emergency Caesarian and an elective one. It’s just the way I’ve always felt about childbirth, but I’m willing to be persuaded otherwise (although I am never going to want no pain relief, or an elective episiotomy, or anything to do with incontinence…). I genuinely think it sounds horrific. This might sound crazy considering I really have been focused on having a child but it has nothing to do with the child – just the method of entry into the world! But feel free to tell me your lovely natural childbirth stories. (No need to give me the gore.)

“What the heck have we done?”

I’ve noticed my emotions are a bit odd lately. I want to cry quite often… I feel emotionally charged. And I get angry too. I haven’t actually cried, but it’s weird. Like I got my sandwich at lunchtime and it had lettuce on (ugh! I didn’t ask for lettuce) and I almost cried. But I was sitting in the office, so I just sat there, miserably picking lettuce off my sandwich. I even feel emotional at adverts. Usually I am stone cold hard so it’s a bit weird for me to be all emotional and whatnot.

Also, I’ve found myself looking at other people’s kids and thinking, “What the heck have we done?” – it sounds stupid, but I’m trying to be honest about my feelings here, and other people’s kids are really quite offputting. Tonight on the commute someone had about 7 kids and they were all screaming and the littlest one kept intermittently shrieking and I felt crazily angry and wished they’d just somehow shut them up. Also I think of how tired I am in the mornings and thinking how am I going to get by on less sleep?! Anyway, yeah, emotions are all over the place.

“When, will I, will I be pregnant?”

I can’t answer… I can’t answer that! 

Actually I can. I figure I’ll feel properly pregnant when I can a) feel some kicks (none yet at 17 weeks) and b) be publicly acknowledged as pregnant. I do sort of get it with the Baby on Board badge, but I decided to change my commute to one where I don’t have to wear the badge (see below!) and so I don’t really actually get acknowledged as preggers yet. As someone who’s been immersed in (in)fertility-land since April, I think it’s so weird people don’t notice that I’ve practically doubled in body weight. (Okay, slight exaggeration. I felt somewhat better than I have been doing since IVF drugs turned me into a baby elephant, when I managed to squeeze my 20kg heavier than normal body into size 8 maternity jeans from New Look. ** Size 8 UK is size 4 US and 36 Euro, for clarity. Thank you New Look for your vanity sizing and your stretchy maternity jeans!)

“Something happened that was somewhat unexpected”

Speaking of being publicly acknowledged, I was trying to get something sorted for an important meeting, so my boss suggested I come and meet him yesterday so we could prep for it. I thought, it’s now or never. I had already told HR. Also, my work clothes are probably going to last about one more week before I have to switch to maternity stuff, for my own sanity. I mean, today I wore a skirt and it kept slipping down over my bump till I was almost being immodest. Still, I think people don’t really notice things and they’ve never known me thinner, so they probably just think I’m fat.

In the end we worked on the presentation and I thought I’d just focus on that, until he started talking about our plan for next year and what would happen in the new year. (Err, I’m having a baby.) So I took that as a cue: “Actually, we really should talk about next year… Umm… So something happened that was somewhat unexpected, and it was really unlikely and…” I blurted it out.

The good thing is, he didn’t spit out his Coke or anything. He said, “Congratulations!”

At which point I started blethering and trying to explain and he said I didn’t need to explain and that we would deal with it. I did at least tell him I had no intention of taking a year off (I mean, I couldn’t afford it) and so I managed his expectations around how it would be about 4 months at most and we’d look at doing Shared Parental Leave (where T can take some of my mat leave). I said how I’d had lots of ops and medical interventions and lost a baby last year. He actually looked really sympathetic and said I didn’t need to explain anything, but I wanted him to know I hadn’t planned it. I mean, it was always a faint possibility but after 16 years of infertility and loss, it seemed a long shot. And I gave up a job where I would have had 1 year of paid maternity leave, for a job with next to no maternity benefits!

I even said “Please don’t hate me!” In a kind of desperate way. He is my favourite boss so far and it’s my favourite job and it pays well and I don’t want to screw it up! He kind of joked, “Of course I hate you… I’m that sort of person!” And said we will start planning how to cover my time – I can pick my second in command from the team and train that person up. We have time. He said we should keep it on the down low for now and I agreed. I said I didn’t want to have to tell people if it all went wrong and he again looked sympathetic and said he understood. I don’t know how I ended up with a nice boss like that. (He’s actually awesome, like a mad professor, and he swears like a trooper, which suits me fine because I do too! Just not online for some weird prudey reason!)

After we’d finished our meeting and walked out of the meeting room, he mouthed at me, “Congratulations!”

He’s a keeper.

“Don’t tell anyone…”

I changed my commute. T has been telling me for ages that it’s much nicer to commute by boat. We live by the river. There is a boat service practically outside our back door. So, I decided to try it. We’d already been on the boat plenty, but not to get to work.

This is the life! It’s amazing. That was the Shard and the city of London from the Thames this morning. It’s soooo civilised! I have a longer walk to work at the other end, but the whole thing is so much more pleasant. You get a seat! No standing! No other sweaty person pressed up against you. River view! I don’t even need the badge because everyone just travels in a properly nice way.

“I don’t understand why everyone doesn’t go this way,” I said to T.

“Don’t tell anyone… They’ll all start doing it!” says T!

Let’s hope they don’t realise.

I’m not really a pro at this…

To wrap up this mega-update… There’s a shedload of pregnancy info I had no idea about. 

  • Apparently the itchy humungaboobs I’ve been suffering from is A Thing. At least I’m not an itchy boobed freak. They smell of chocolate having been slathered with cocoa butter on a regular basis. I think they’ve doubled in size. The sheer size is very uncomfortable. I’ve been through a bunch of new bras and they seem to grow out of them on a weekly basis. They are like huge, stretchmarky melons. I have new sympathy for big boobed women. (I’m usually a 32 C which I was completely satisfied with.)
  • You’re supposed to sleep on your left hand side. This is bad! I sleep on my back! I have to keep trying as I read a study that not doing so increases the risk of stillbirth. (I won’t give the citation as it’s from the horrible DM.) Though you only have to start doing this now, in the second trimester. (WTF Second trimester, how the heck did that happen?!) I’ve now briefed T and told him if he wakes up and I’m not on my left, to roll me! He said that’s why people have those weird pregnancy pillows. I’ve got one eyed up in my Amazon basket but going to try sleeping that way first.
  • There are pretty much no nice smart maternity clothes. They’re all hideous! The New Look and M&S maternity jeans are fine. New Look is super cheap for casual stuff but doesn’t have anything for work. All pregnancy jeans seem to have rips in – not a look I usually go for, and not one for the office. I ordered 2 dresses from Seraphine which I haven’t worn yet, but seem okay (definitely not my usual style). One dress from Amazon which is cheap as chips. And today I cracked and ordered some dresses from Jojo Maman BΓ©bΓ© – so we shall see. I have this extended family do at the weekend so I think it would be an ideal opportunity to test drive a maternity frock. We shall see.
  • I need to learn to accessorise. I saw a show with a pregnant woman on – one of those house hunting shows – and she was wearing scarves and they looked great. I’m not really a scarf person but I think a bit of colour and pattern can distract a bit. I’ve also been wearing bigger necklaces, not least because I now seem to have a giant slug neck. So I ordered a load of chunky necklaces to see if I could detract from my drab work clothes and the is-it-isn’t-it bump!

“Lion King or Frozen?”

So I told you a while ago that we knew the gender of our baby, and I’d been holding off saying anything because T wanted to tell his parents. We did that and they were super happy. And I told my siblings, and we told a few friends through necessity, but we are sort of holding off telling people until we have to.

Anyway… The important people have been told, and more importantly, Dog has been told (though not 100% sure he understands!) and even more importantly, T has told me that I can tell you guys, so…

“Lion King or Frozen?” was the question I asked on the phone after our Harmony test, as apparently the midwife couldn’t tell us over the phone – we’d have to wait for the official test results in the post. However she said I could ask her a question that wasn’t “Boy or Girl?” – clearly, being Disney nuts – this was the question we’d thought of.

The answer: “Lion King!”


About half of you were right! πŸ˜‰

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66 comments

  1. Cin and Jay

    Yay for a boy! Boys are great! I love never having to worry about bows matching outfits lol! You have an awesome boss! My boss (former) seemed really ticked that I was going to be a stay at home mom and she didn’t even text me when I was on bed rest, had the baby, after the baby. She didn’t even go to the baby shower or get me anything. While people I barely talk to at work did! You’re lucky! I’ve been on a boat ride on the Thames and it was so nice! Especially seeing all the historical places. I’m a huge history buff! I could have spent days in all the museums!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Nara

      Haha! Yes I was the one who wanted a boy! T wanted a girl, but he only ever had a 50% chance of success, so I am hoping he will get used to it!

      That’s so mean about your boss. What a beehatch! They’re at least meant to send you a gift hey! I am sorry you didn’t get more support. I don’t think my boss will give support as such, being a bloke, but I’m hoping he’ll be fine with it and not make things difficult. I saw him today for a meeting and he was just his usual self. So here’s hoping!

      I’m actually on the riverboat right now! So nice and peaceful, just cruising along! Oh yeah we have lots of history and museums! If you ever come again you’ll have to let me know!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Cin and Jay

        I wanted a boy and was so glad to have one! I’m no girly girl and feel I would be a terrible mother to a girl. Yeah, my boss has issues for sure. If you are ever in London I will definitely let you know. Jay wants to go, as he hasn’t been but I’m not a fan of flying and I don’t know if I can do that long flight again. Not to mention bringing a kiddo along lol. I told Jay I wanted to take a cruise from New York to London and he said I was crazy lol

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      • Nara

        Haha me too! I think that boys are definitely easier (well for me… I don’t think I’d be so good with a girl unless she was a tomboy). Although I do love Frozen…! I can understand why you wouldn’t want to fly long haul! We actually wanted to do a transatlantic cruise too! But none available within my travel dates (has to be before 24 weeks) so will have to be after baby is born!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Courtney

    A BOY!!!! Congrats to you both! You know I love boys!

    I love your boss. He sounds like my old boss. The man cried with me when I had my chemical pregnancy. He, and his boss (who I was also very close with) were like the supportive family I needed at the time.

    As for “what have we done?” Well…. I still wonder that. HA! I was really freaking out about it a few weeks before we delivered Matthew, and it was terrifying. But – then they put HIM in your arms and you say, “thank god we did this!”

    Elective C-section…. you know I had two for medical reasons (and thank god, because if not for the second one, Bryson and I would have died together at home as I labored). There is one thing you NEED to know about a C-section that is a serious issue – I did not poop for 10 – TEN – days after having Matthew and when I did, it was the worst pain I’ve ever been in and it lasted HOURS in a public restroom. It was worse than the pain I had from my ribs being cut and removed via surgery. There are serious side-effects to C-sections, and major constipation is not one that some would consider serious, but man alive – it was terrible. Also, you can’t lift anything more than the baby for weeks and you can’t drive for weeks. Think about DOG and him wanting to snuggle with you. He will not be able to be on your belly for a LONG time after a C-section. And OMG not being able to drive was awful and I had Brian home for 5 weeks to drive for me. I recovered ridiculously well from both C-sections (walked 2 miles the day after coming home from the hospital) but I would not advise it unless really needed. I now have a permanent flap of skin over my C-section scar and everyone I know who’s had a section, even skinny people, have that. I know my reasons sound superficial, but believe me, the constipation pain alone was enough to advise against an elective C-section. I skipped labor, but I still got the pain 10 days later with no epidural (and I’m sure it wasn’t as bad as labor, but I was literally crying, groaning, and almost passing out in the bathroom).

    So…. choose wisely.

    I love the idea or taking a boat to work. So lovely!

    A BOY!!!!! (I knew it!)

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    • Nara

      Aww yes your boys are awesome! Love seeing their little faces! So expressive! I think you’re right… I’m sure when you get your baby in your arms, the doubts disappear. (I’m a bit squeamish about babies, haha.)

      Your c section story is helpful! I’m not keen on constipation or pain! I keep getting told by people that it’s worse than natural childbirth so perhaps they’ll persuade me in the end! πŸ˜‰ And your Dog argument is a good one! He jumps on my stomach all the time!

      I’m on the boat now! Haha!

      Like

  3. Surviving Infertility

    Congrats on baby boy! And also on telling your boss and getting that out of the way.
    I have had a lot of the same crazy thoughts/emotions as you–what have we done? My baby might die via vaginal birth…crying over a sandwich…not sleeping on my left side all the time…the list goes on. Im still not feeling baby boy much and Im 21 weeks. I wish I did like all these other people who do so early! Anyways, congrats again on your boy!

    Like

    • Nara

      Thank you! I’m glad I’m not the only one! Perhaps it’s just normal emotions… I’m not used to being so emotional now!

      I’m just waiting to feel him kick. I suppose it seems worse waiting as it could happen any day now, or not even for ages. I’ve no idea if I would even recognise it?! What does it feel like?

      Thanks so much! I hope everything continued to go well with you! Xx

      Liked by 1 person

  4. andthewindscreamsmary

    Congrats on your boy! So exciting.
    As for the c-section, I have friends/family who had them for medical reasons, and the consensus is that the recovery is HARD. And seeing them recover vs. friends who had vaginal makes me believe them. I actually feel the opposite of you- I am much more wary/scared of a c-section and hope/prefer vaginal! But as long as baby and i are both healthy I really don’t care how he gets here? I just want him here lol.
    I have been feeling quite moody/emotional too – I am blaming hormones and giving myself a pass, so give yourself one too lol. We are all doing our best!!!

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    • Nara

      Thank you! Yeah everyone keeps telling me it is hard to recover. But I am not scared of surgery like I’m scared of a natural childbirth! Perhaps talking it through with the midwife will help. I’m with you though. However he gets here as long as he’s healthy and alive I’ll be happy!

      Hope that everything is good with you! X

      Liked by 1 person

    • Nara

      Awww thanks! I’m definitely a boy’s girl so I’m relieved! Although disappointed for T as he wanted a girl! I’m hoping he’ll get over it!

      Like

  5. My Perfect Breakdown

    A baby boy?! I am thrilled. Boys are awesome!! Seriously, I love my little boy more then anything! (Okay girls are probably pretty awesome too, but I can only speak to how truly awesome a little boy is so I’m biased).
    As for the birth, my voice is probably irrelevant as I never went though one, but I’ll share my opinion anyways. I say do whatever you want, whatever feels best in your heart and mind. At the end of the day no-one but you, T and your doctor (and probably dog in your case) should have an opinion. It’s your body so I fully support doing whatever you want!
    And your boss sounds awesome! I still love the shared paternity idea.

    Like

    • Nara

      Haha I knew you’d be a boy advocate! I’m glad your little boy is so awesome. I hope mine gets here healthy and I’ll be happy with that!

      Haha, not sure Dog has an opinion on childbirth! He does keep jumping on my stomach though so perhaps surgery isn’t so helpful!

      Saw my boss today for a meeting and he was fine and didn’t mention anything about pregnancy, so I’m hoping all is well and it will go smoothly from that perspective!

      Cuddles to your little one and dog! X

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Amy M.

    Hooray! I know you had wanted a boy, so I’m really excited for you!! I’m glad your boss took the news so incredibly well, he sounds like an awesome guy. And that new commute looks fabulous! I drive to work, and I don’t have any pretty sights along the way.
    As for your pregnancy stuff…I know you read my blog, and I know that I complained heavily of itchy boobs for weeks!! Thankfully it calmed down somewhere in my 2nd tri, so hopefully yours will calm down as well. Try not to freak out too much about the sleeping thing. I used to sleep on my stomach, obviously I haven’t been able to do that in a while. I then moved to my back, which is where I go naturally now. I fall asleep on my left whenever possible, but usually wake up on my back. I do find if I fall asleep on my right that I will wake up still there. Everything I’ve read says that yes, left is best, but it’s not horrible if you wake up on your back. I’m refusing a pregnancy pillow because, just no lol.
    Anyway, so happy to hear that things are going so well with you! Hope things carry on that way!

    Like

    • Nara

      Thank you!! I was definitely thinking of you when I wrote a few things, especially the itchy boobs, haha! I’m glad it’s calmed down. I think the heat right now doesn’t help. (I know it’s not proper heat like you guys get!)

      Thanks for the sleeping advice. I definitely normally sleep on my back. Occasionally turn around and stuff but I’m definitely a back or front sleeper and I don’t bother with front now due to humungaboobs and stomach! Hoping if I just internalise it a bit I will stay on the correct side! J can’t see myself getting s pregnancy pillow either! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Liked by 1 person

  7. silentmiscarriageloudthoughts

    Congratulations on your boy! What a great update to come back to.
    I think I only really started feeling I was pregnant/believing I was pregnant, over the last week or two. I think it was the combination of looking very pregnant, everyone knowing I was pregnant, and feeling lots of movement.

    Maternity clothes are SO HARD. I’ve bought one pair of black maternity jeans, and some leggings and stockings. So far, I’ve just been buying tops in bigger sizes. I did buy two scarfs the other day though! I’m at the stage where I can no longer comfortably do up my jackets and coats. Can winter be over already please?

    Like

    • Nara

      Aww thank you. Glad you are feeling lots of movement. When did it start for you? How did you recognise it?

      Yeah maternity clothes are horrible! I was at a women’s event today and saw a few bumps. Everyone seems to be all skinny and compact with tiny neat bumps, not this sort of excess flab like I have! So annoying! It’s summer here and I’m thinking the same as you but for summer… When will it be over?!

      Like

      • silentmiscarriageloudthoughts

        I started feeling light movement at 17 weeks. It really did feel a lot like little gas bubbles, but I knew it was movement because it was happening more and more. And (TMI) it wasn’t followed by passing wind! By 19 weeks it was much stronger.
        I’ve put on weight everywhere the last month or two. I bumped into someone I know today, and I could see her looking at my tummy and wondering, is she pregnant or has she put on weight? But she didn’t say anything, and I felt too awkward to just blurt out “I’m pregnant” without being asked.
        I meant to say in my previous comment- I got given the Bounty book in New Zealand too! Plus sudocrem, Bio oil and breastpads.

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      • Nara

        Ha! Good description, thanks!! I’m only at 17+2 so not expecting too much right now. Would make me feel better I think. I have put on weight all over! Although I think people still think I look fat, unless I’m wearing a tight maternity top which definitely looks pregnant!
        Ooh you got Bio Oil! We didn’t get that, or breast pads. I wonder what they think you’re going to do with all this stuff for months and months before baby’s born?!

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      • silentmiscarriageloudthoughts

        I know! I got given that pack on my very first appointment, so when I was around 4 weeks with my first pregnancy. I have no idea where it is now, and actually just requested another one from my midwife because someone told me the Bounty book has a good list of stuff you need to buy for the baby. And I’m ALMOST at the stage of starting to think about buying some stuff.
        I suppose I should start using the Bio Oil soon, although I know you’re either genetically predisposed towards getting stretch marks or not. May as well give it a shot!

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  8. dreamseggsandsperm

    Oh I’m so so so very happy for you!!!! I loved your update. That you have connected so well with your consultant. That is great. And whether or not you should deliver your baby with a vaginal och c-section is something no one can really advice you to. You have to get as much info as possible and then make a decision based on both logics and emotions I think. I wanted to deliver “naturally” but since both my kids were preemies and one of them breech when my water broke and the other one got into distress after my water broke for him, I ended up with c-sections. Not super emergency ones, but clearly quite scary. At least my second since my son’s oxygen level dropped dramatically so they wheeled me in to the OR extremely fast. Well, in the end all that matters is that you and your baby are healthy. My recovery was not that hard after but I guess that is very individual. When I had my son I recovered faster. No idea why. Maybe because I moved around early after and kept on walking white a lot. Since my kids ended up in the NICU I went to visit them several times per day and at day 3 I left the wheel chair and walked. πŸ™‚ Mostly so that I could recover quicker.
    Your boss seems great to and I’m happy for you, It makes it a lot easier when you have your boss “on your side”.
    Maternity clothes yes, I thought that was tricky. I remember I did not want to spend to much money on clothes I knew I was gonna wear for such a short time. Think I bought most my clothes at Old Navy here in the US. For work mostly just black or dark dresses in some jersey stretch material which worked fine with a jacket over. Think I bought a black skirt to and some tunics. Hope you’ll find something you feel comfortable in.
    And last but not least, CONGRATS to your son!!!!! Not that the gender matters at all, but it is nice to know and prepare. We found out the genders with both our children. When pregnant with my son I found out pretty early since I did a chorionic villus sampling due to my age.
    Well, sorry for my very long comment, but I just was so happy to read your update. Wish you a great second trimester and that your itchy boobs get better!

    Like

    • Nara

      Thank you! It’s good to hear other people’s experiences. I think it would definitely be scary to have an emergency Caesarian. But you’re right, the important thing is that they’re healthy.

      I saw my boss today and he seemed normal and nice so I’m hoping that’s a good sign! Yay.

      Maternity clothes so suck! I bet your US stuff is better than ours! It’s so dorky! Like I don’t want to dress middle aged! At the moment I’m still in black stretchy stuff but I think eventually it’ll be time to switch to maternity clothes… It would probably help with the looking fat thing!

      Don’t ever be sorry for long comments! I love them! 😍

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  9. sewingbutterfly

    Congratulations on a little boy πŸ™‚ awesome of your boss to. So great! Congrats on being 17 weeks, almost halfway! I also have the intermittant ‘what have we done’ moments too, but we will enjoy it anyway, lol.

    I am planning for a natural birth unless my OBGYN says otherwise. I am preparing myself physically as much as I can, including prenatal yoga. I also spoke with a friend who is a self confessed pain wimp and she said she handled labour okay as it was a different kind of pain. But I don’t blame you for wanting the c-section as labour still scares the hell out of me, but I figured I may as well give it a go….I am probably crazy, lol.

    Like

    • Nara

      Thank you!!!!
      Yeah maybe I need to change and go natural hey. I can’t imagine it but… I think once you’re in that position you kind of can’t get out of it! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Maybe I’ll wait until you give it a go and you can tell me what you think! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Liked by 1 person

      • sewingbutterfly

        I will probably write a blog post about it…we shall see how I go! Yeah, once it starts you just have to get through it! I figure it is only max 48 hours (most likely less than 24 though)…I can do that…I think!

        My sister and mother all had c-sections for varying reasons and if I had to choose, I would definitely rather a scheduled one to an emergency one.

        Like

  10. Babyscienceproject

    Glad to hear it’s all going well and your boss didn’t spontaneously combust when you told him! Sounds like a nice guy. And…it’s a boy! Lovely. A few ideas – Fetal Medicine Centre on Harley St is great for private scans if you need a recommendation. I’ve been going there throughout. I have lived in my Topshop stretchy dresses and maternity jeans to the point where I am now sick of the sight of them. H&M maternity stuff looks frigging awful online but if you go to the big store at the top of Regents St they actually have some nice blouses and stuff. I also got some nice work trousers from ASOS. Finally, I bought the ‘dream genie’ pillow and it has been pretty good. In the early days I used it to wedge myself onto my left hand side but now I just use it as a comfy leg rest. It can also be used for breast feeding so it’s not a total waste of money even though it’s quite expensive. Treat yoself!

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    • Nara

      Thank you! Thanks for the recommendations re scans. We will try and get one I think. T wants to go somewhere in London so sounds like a plan.

      I like the New Look maternity jeans (mainly cos they’re size 8, haha) but would be nice to have non ripped jeans!
      Good tip about H&M Regents St – I hardly ever go there so will have to try. I didn’t get on with ASOS at all! I think I have a phobia of having to send everything back!

      I did see the Dream Genie. I think I’ll try and see if I can get in the habit of sleeping on my left side and if not, I may go with pillow intervention! πŸ˜‚

      Like

    • notabroodychick

      I second the Fetal medicine centre, they are great there!

      Congrats on a boy! Sorry you are struggling with maternity wear. I guess I was lucky to find a few bits I loved (including my seraphine choices). I was kinda sad not to fit them any more now! When it gets to Autumn get some maternity tights, they are so comfy! I wore them to work with a seraphine black stretchy skirt.

      By the way the purple book in your bounty picture is not the same for everyone. That one can vary based on what hospital you have chosen for delivery (crazy huh, you think it would be the same for all). Also look for the Emma’s diary free packs.. You can download a voucher online and then get in places like boots or Argos.

      I first felt movement at 18+5 so you are probably not far off it now (unless you have an anterior placenta?). Some people say it feels like butterflies in your belly but I got clear little thuds, about 8 in one go, and there was no mistaking what it was!

      If you can be persuaded to consider natural childbirth I can recommend a couple books that helped me feel so much more confident and less apprehensive, and a natal hypnotherapy cd that was also really helpful. Based on my experience I would totally advocate natural birth, I recovered physically so quickly (and in comparison to 4 of my nct group who had c-sections), and it was just a amazing experience.

      Like

      • Nara

        Thank you! Yeah I have two dresses from Seraphine but I haven’t worn them yet. Can’t say they are really my style but they probably look better with a whopping bump!
        I didn’t realise that the purple book wasn’t the same! How weird! I didn’t feel like I chose the hospital so much as just went to the closest one! We don’t have a car so there weren’t many options! Thanks for the voucher tips.
        I am 17+2 now and no movement that I can tell, but I also wonder if I’d actually know what it is. Like I do get “feelings”, haha. Probably my uterus stretching. I’ll look out for thuds! Will probably be a while as I bet my baby will be lazy… Although he has been wriggling about a lot every time we see him on ultrasound.

        Definitely recommend me some books please! I’m a big researcher! Although I’ll probably wait till like 25-30 weeks to feel like it might actually happen! Actually a friend of mine said natural birth was a bit like a bad period in terms of pain… I’m sure it’s not like that for everyone! πŸ˜‚

        Like

  11. lyart

    great post. great news. hope, it all goes well for you and your bladder will still work fine in future. On the clothing front: I tell you, it is virtually impossible to dress well with a balloon in front. Just focus on the end date of difficult dressing, it’s just a couple of months. As opposed to folks like me, who’d have to really diet hard to ever look great in any clothing at all :))))

    Like

  12. Maternally Optimistic

    That’s so exciting it’s a boy!! Congrats!! Love the disney question!
    I am also so pleased it went well with your boss!
    I have never slept on my back in my life and now suddenly I keep waking up that way. I actually think I wake myself up snoring because I am on my back lol I like to be on my front so I am finding it really difficult to sleep on my side.
    What annoys me about maternity is clothes is that it is all online!! Have you tried next or dorothy perkins for smart dresses?
    See now I am the opposite about child birth, the thought of a c section scares the hell out of me! I am currently just not thinking about giving birth lol

    xxx

    Like

    • Nara

      Thank you!! Glad you liked the question!

      Yeah I always sleep on my back. Occasionally my side but more often my back! And the snoring gets me too! I wake myself up, haha!

      I haven’t seen anything in DPs I’ve been in. And I hate Next! But perhaps I should look. I just want to be one of those petite pregnant people but instead think I’m one of those who goes like a blimp!

      Yeah I’m not thinking shiny giving birth either! So scary! Xx

      Liked by 1 person

      • Maternally Optimistic

        Everything is online when it comes to maternity wear. I got a really nice maternity dress for a wedding from DP online. I actually bought a really nice cable knit dress from next normal section the other week, I just bought it a size bigger and its mega stretchy so I am hoping it will last as I get bigger. xxx

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      • Maternally Optimistic

        To be fair I have done that as well, I can’t tell you how many pairs of matenity jeans I ordered and sent back before finding a pair I liked!

        Like

  13. Mrs T

    Yay boy! Now for the random thoughts I had while reading: I don’t particularly like other people’s kids but I think mine is the bees knees, so you are probably fine on that front! I have a former colleague in Chicago who started a maternity store due to lack of attractive professional maternity clothes when she was pregnant. I don’t know their status of shipping abroad but the name is Belle Up if you want to check it out! Glad things went okay albeit awkward with the boss πŸ˜‰

    Like

    • Nara

      Aww thanks! You think yours is the bees knees because she is!

      Will have to check out Belle Up! That’s a cool idea. I do find all mat wear really frumpy and not suitable for the office. I’m hopeful about the latest order!

      Saw my boss today and he was nice and normal so I’m hoping that’s a good sign!

      Like

  14. Marixsa

    So pleased for you for a BOY! Idk if it was meant to, but I laughed so hard reading your post! Especially at the awkward conversation with your boss where he kept telling you to stop with the details, yet you plowed ahead anyway! He certainly does sound like a keeper. And the boat? You get to commute by boat?! That’s one of the coolest things I’ve ever heard. So jealous! As for the other things, while I’ve never given birth, I do rock a “low transverse abdominal incision” from a previous endo surgery, which is the same incision used for C-section. The recovery from being cut open like that lasted much longer than recovery from other surgeries I’ve had. It also left a giant scar that 6 years later is still going strong. Just warning you! If you ever wear a bikini everyone will be able to see it. And lastly, I don’t like other peoples’ kids as well. You’re completely not alone in that, so no reason to feel bad. xx

    Like

    • Nara

      Thanks so much! Haha yes I’m glad you laughed. I do make myself laugh sometimes but mainly because I do stupid things!

      I’m on the boat right now! It’s awesome! The only way to travel now I think!!

      Thanks for sharing your surgery story. I guess I’ve only ever had keyhole surgery so maybe I don’t have the full picture! I don’t think I’ll be back to bikinis any time soon!

      Thank goodness it’s not just me and other people’s kids! πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

      Liked by 1 person

  15. MrsD

    Yaaaayy! Congrats on the baby boy!!! So excited for you!!!!!
    I had a really hard time telling my boss too- I think I waited till 16 weeks, at which point I couldn’t really hide it anymore (would have waited till 20 if I could have), but it was the most awkward conversation ever!

    Like

    • Nara

      Thank you! Yeah I was not much later than you in telling him. Although I don’t see him much so I reckon I could have kept it from him for a while! πŸ˜‚ Saw him today and he was fine so I’m hoping that’s a good sign!

      Like

  16. dinksbydefault

    a boy, so exciting! glad your boss was super cool about it. and, for what its worth, my Dr. said I could continue lying on my back until it was no longer comfortable (believe me, you will know when that happens). so don’t freak out if you wake up and find yourself on your back. but def start trying to get in the habit of lying on your sides. I have a body pillow from Leach&Co (looks like a snake). I have a love – hate relationship with it (I wake hubby up every time I switch from side to side, which is a lot because my legs start aching if I don’t). sometimes just a regular pillow between my knees works too.

    Like

    • Nara

      Thank you! That’s good to know! I’m going to try and control my sleeping position but if not I’ll be coming back for pillow recommendations! I do usually put the duvet between my knees. It helps a bit. I always seem tired at the wrong times though!

      Like

  17. notpregnantinrezza

    Glad for you that telling your boss is out of the way now. I felt nervous and guilty too. I also usually sleep on my back. I got one of those maternity pillows from around 14 weeks and it helps but I still manage to get on my back. My doctor said not to worry too much about it. It’s pretty hard to know what you do once you’re asleep. Congrats on having a boy 😊

    Like

    • Nara

      Thanks! Yes I do keep waking up on my back but I’ve tried to sleep on my left! It’s all so strange. I feel sort of uncomfortable as not used to being this shape! Thanks for the congrats. Hope all is well with you!

      Liked by 1 person

      • notpregnantinrezza

        I think gravity can help you sleep on your side a bit easier as you get bigger too. My doctor also said eventually you feel ill from being on your back so you just naturally turn to your side

        Like

  18. RC

    Congratulations! A little boy joining your family soon!!! How very exciting!
    Yay that your boss was great with type announcement, I remember feeling like I was somehow a disappointment when I told mine (was all me, they were happy for me). Now you can celebrate that bump, it won’t be able to be hidden for much longer.
    Wish I could catch a boat to work, sounds very relaxing.
    The birth- its a decision that only you and T can take make. It’s good to be informed of the pros and cons, on both sides. You seem pretty well informed, go with what’s right for you all.

    Like

    • Nara

      Thanks! Yeah I wouldn’t say my boss was over the moon about it… But he wasn’t sh*tty about it, which is the important thing. Seen him yesterday and he didn’t act anything different so hoping that’s a good sign! Yeah and I think the bump is going to have to come out soon. Would stop me looking quite so fat I think! But I do seem to be one of those women who turns into a blimp rather than someone with a cute little bump! Argh!
      I’m on the boat now! Haha. It’s definitely the way to go. Not going to take the train any more unless I have to!
      I’m willing to be persuaded on the natural childbirth thing but nothing has made me want to do it so far! πŸ˜‚

      Like

  19. Arwen

    Yay for a boy!!! And great news that your boss was good (as he legally should be!!).
    Check out Verbaudet, i have most of my breastfeeding stuff from there and they have a nice if small maternity range. Also love their baby clothes!! The other place I like for breastfeeding stuff is mamalicious, they have a much larger range so might have some stuff more your style? Xxx

    Like

    • Nara

      Yes I knew he’d have to act legally, haha! The main thing is he wasn’t a t*at about it! Thanks for the recommendations. Never heard of Verbaudet. I just don’t really love the style of the pregnancy stuff as it seems be quite conservative. I don’t feel that grown up! Seems you have the casual high street stuff (for teen pregnancies, haha) and then the grown up stuff and nothing in between! Although the Jojo Maman BΓ©bΓ© stuff might be okay. I have a few dresses to try on tonight for tomorrow’s do! I will have to check out Mamalicious too!

      Like

  20. mum100blog

    Oh wonderful post – huge congratulations on your boy! And I love that you’ve got a great consultant, someone you can talk to really openly and get to the right decisions together. Doctors are brilliant when they’re like this – when the process is actually consultative.

    Love those boat rides to work too – I remember getting the Thames boat one night after a gig at the O2, whilst everyone else was piling on to the tube. Same as your experience, there was loads of space on the boat – ssssssh, don’t tell anyone!! xxx

    Like

  21. 30yr old nothing

    A boy!! Yaaay! I can’ remember what I chose lol. I’m over the moon excited for you and your boss is awesome. And I love the elective caesarian part of this post. I’ve had similar thoughts. I’ll be following closely to see what you end up doing. xx

    Like

    • Nara

      Haha! I think everyone was roughly half and half so there’s a good chance you were right! So I need to do a bit of an update as it’s taking me ages to blog nowadays… I’m seeing the midwife to discuss birth options next week, so I’ll let you know! Xx

      Like

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