This is what two looks like

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I can scarcely believe the time has gone so quickly, but our little B is two!

It has been the best two years of my life. (And his! Haha.)

We have had good times, fun, love and joy. My life feels infinitely more wonderful, even though it was pretty wonderful to start off with and I’m very lucky.

It’s hard to believe that the dark days of infertility consumed so many years. I definitely feel like so much of me has healed.

Two years of us being parents. (Who knew we could actually be grown ups?!) We are still the same people and yet we are completely different. Two adoptees who now have a genetic relative. It’s been pretty huge. And a blast.

Every mother probably thinks her kid is the best in the world. B is, to me. I mean, there are some cool kids about, but he’s my one.

If I had to summarise him at two I would say he’s active, mischievous, funny, musical, loving, and definitely not a morning person!

This year his favourite things have changed from Dog and Teletubbies to Dog and Blippi. If you don’t know who Blippi is, he’s a YouTube star who makes educational videos for kids. I actually feel quite blessed as they are a whole lot more entertaining than Teletubbies (or – horror of horrors – In The Night Garden). He has a quite… idiosyncratic way of dressing (see below) – apparently he decided on blue for trustworthiness and orange for creativity!

This year I was marginally more organised so I made B a birthday cake. I did make one last year too but it was far less planned and a bit of a disaster, so I was determined to up my game this year. I spent about 60 quid in Hobbycraft on ridiculous amounts of icing and tools. I’ve never done fondant before because I’m a buttercream cake maker really. But I didn’t think what I had in mind would work in buttercream. It turns out I do not like working with fondant!

Behold my first attempt at fondant cake decorating!

It was tricky, but I was pleased with how it turned out. Mainly because our little Blippi was super pleased with it. I also cobbled together a Blippi outfit for him that was just super cute. We had managed to find the Blippi official trainers (sneakers!) that he absolutely loved. It was so cute… He said, “Bippi! Me!”

On the day of his birthday we took the day off work and took him on a trip to a soft play centre and the Natural History Museum. It was great, mainly because most people were at work so it wasn’t so busy. And two is such a fun age where they can walk and talk (a bit, mainly babbling) and really enjoy stuff.

B’s birthday also marked two years of breastfeeding! Which really isn’t something I ever planned to do. I was going to aim for six months, and then six months became a year and a year became two. And it seems unlikely to stop at two. We decided to go for natural term weaning – although if he ends up being seven and breastfeeding then there might be some weaning involved!

I don’t think I’m a militant breastfeeder or anything. I don’t aim to be, anyway. It works for us, but I was prepared for it not to. I kind of thought that we’d end up formula feeding and I wasn’t too worried about it. I was formula fed and I turned okay (although did have some serious health problems as a baby, probably as a result of being separated from my mother at such a young age). I thought I’d give it a go but expected that like most other baby related stuff (conception, birth!) it wouldn’t work well for me.

But work it did – B never really had much of an issue and it turns out if there’s one thing my body can do naturally, it’s breastfeeding. But it hasn’t all been plain sailing. I had to go back to work at four months because I didn’t get maternity pay. And that sucked. I had to pump so that B could continue to be EBF. He has always been a bit of a milk monster so that was a lot of pumping. I realised I’d been pumping for 1 and 2/3 years! I had committed to pumping until he turned two.

After the Christmas break I decided that enough was enough. Pumping is difficult and not fun. I totally didn’t do it for the love of it. The love of B, sure. But pumping was quite frankly a bitch. And there didn’t seem much point in B rejoining nursery/daycare after two weeks off and me re-starting pumping just to stop it again a few weeks later when he turned two. He was down to one milk a day after his midday nap, and I thought now he’s older he could probably forego it without any issues. (He still has milk at home.)

So just like that, my pumping days are over. Although not quite. I’ve been pumping a few times just to make a freezer stash. It’s actually been really liberating not to have to pump in the work bathrooms or rush home early to pump. I just have done it since new year if it was convenient and if I felt like it.

I won’t miss the hanging out in the disabled loos, carrying an extra large bag to fit pump parts, wearing bf/pumping clothes to work, and constantly having to figure out how to make the time to pump.

I will miss that feeling of doing something for my child, because he’s the only child I’ll have, and that part of his babyhood is now over.

I don’t yearn for babyhood again because he’s awesome now. I enjoyed it at the time but I feel immensely privileged I get to go on this journey and nurture my own child and watch him grow.

So… the end of an era. But just the beginning of the rest of his life.

22 Comments Add yours

  1. Due to lack of time, I rarely hop on anymore so I’m so glad the first post up with an update from you! So happy to hear that B is still doing so well. 2 is a crazy age! They’re still our babies but Bella for one has a new favorite sentence, “I do it!”. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nara says:

      Awww I bet she is so cute when she’s saying that! Yeah, I hardly seem to blog any more or manage to read blogs. I try but it’s hard to find the time! Glad to hear from you! 😍

      Like

  2. Marixsa says:

    Happy birthday, B! That cake looks beautiful, you have such a gift for baking. I, on the other hand, have crap baking skills, so super jealous

    Also, I’m so relieved that Dog still made the cut into the Top Two category!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nara says:

      Ahh thanks! Yes Dog will always be a firm favourite I think! I’m not sure the feeling is mutual but he is very tolerant! 🤣🤣

      Like

  3. Courtney says:

    “Two adoptees who now have a genetic relative.” I am stunned by this every time I think about it (which is more often than you’d think). It makes me so happy that you both now have your only biological relative who you made together for each other. It’s pretty neat. You gave each other a biological connection while giving B life. It’s so special!

    I’m like you, bring on the fun of each agree and don’t look back! I love each phase my kids are in more and more as they progress through life. It’s so fun to get to know them so slowly and on a micro level. It’s like watching a flower bloom.

    Happy Blippi birthday to B! God, I just love that he loves Blippi! I showed Brian your FB photos and said, “here’s a blast from our past,” and he was so upset that our kids never asked for a Blippi cake. 😂 Next up for you is “Sarah and Duck.” Oh, I ❤️ Sarah and Duck and did almost get to do a cake of them until my boys changed their minds. 🙄 A tank and police car trumped S&D.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Courtney says:

      * bring on the fun of each AGE, not agree

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Nara says:

      I love seeing pics of your boys and all their adventures! You’re so right about the flower blooming. Every age is fun so far! (Well, I’ve only had two years!) And thank you for saying that about adoption… It’s a pretty big thing that’s made me think so much more about it.

      I will need to check out Sarah and Duck! B only sees stuff that is on his kindle or on tv (we have a lot of kids’ channels in our package). I’m trying not to encourage him too far down the route of YouTube, otherwise I won’t get my phone back! I remember the tank cake and I think I remember the police car! What’s next?!

      Like

      1. Courtney says:

        I’m told that Minecraft is next. 🙄

        Like

      2. Nara says:

        I think that is apparently not too bad for cake making as it’s all squares! 😂

        Like

  4. I feel quite emotional right now for a lot of reasons but there are tears in my eyes as I read this and think about when I met you, about 4 years ago now. I wish there had been a way back then to read the posts like this. It’s so nice to see you so happy and to understand and relate to that happiness in my own life. As you already know, I think you are amazing at making cakes and I love the Blippi one! I’m so impressed this was your first time with fondant, you can’t tell! It looks great, as does the 2nd birthday celebration. We did a Natural History museum too for that birthday, just the one in NYC, and it was such a good day seeing him so in awe and interacting with everything. I love that memory.

    2 has some fun surprises and some not so fun surprises. There is still so much change that they go through this year and I never stop feeling amazed. Like, the other week Ross apparently decided to climb out of his crib for the first time ever one morning and then he turned off his humidifier & sound machine and walked into our room saying, “hey guys!” 🤷🏻‍♀️ We do still like Blippi but a little less so now— we discovered Paw Patrol and PJ Masks around 2 1/2 and currently Buzz Lightyear is the main celebrity crush in our house. I’m sure you will get to know all the Paw Patrol pups this year, they are kind of hard to avoid in the toddler world!!

    Well done on breastfeeding! I am glad that after everything, your body has decided to cooperate (and excel) at this! You’ve worked so hard for this life and I am so glad to see you enjoy it. ❤️❤️❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nara says:

      Thank you so much! Yes, T and I were talking about how it would be nice to be able to go back to previous years and tell ourselves it would be okay. I remember how horrible our second IVF was because I thought it’s already gone wrong before and I know that there’s such a low chance of it working. I wish I could have told myself there’s light at the end of the tunnel. But… it means I feel so lucky now.

      That’s so cool you did the NHM as well! We have been to that one in NYC pre baby! I think it was the time before the time we met you! It’s cool! Ours is nice too and you’re right, it’s so fun to watch them interact. Although B was so scared of the T. rex and the giant baby! Haha!

      I’ve heard of Paw Patrol and we know other older kids who are really into it. I don’t love them tbh. I do find Peppa Pig quite funny though! We’ve watched PJ Masks quite a few times. And Vampirina. (We have Disney Junior and other kids’ channels.) I prefer Blippi – at least he’s educational! Also we have so many awful toy commercials on children’s tv here (unicorns that poop rainbows… really?!) I prefer him to watch stuff on his kindle without the ads. Oh but I can’t wait to see what you do for Buzz Lightyear! B was actually wearing a Buzz onesie for his first birthday when we were overseas in the Middle East on my work trip! I would like it if he likes Buzz!

      Thanks so much for all your wishes. It means a lot and I’m so glad we met! ❤️❤️

      Like

  5. sbach1222 says:

    OMG you did so good on his cake!!! That looks amazing!

    Also, so fantastic on the breastfeeding! You are a champ! And you rock the pumping in the bathroom look! 😂😂😂

    Happy Birthday B! Looks like you had a great day with your amazing parents!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nara says:

      Thanks so much! I have to say I didn’t really enjoy the cake making process but I was pleased that it turned out recognisable, and that B loved it! It’s fun to celebrate birthdays by taking the day off, haha!

      Yeah the pumping in the bathroom is awful! Over time I took to just wearing normal dresses and then I’d have to be half naked and that was even worse! So glad that part of my life is over! 😂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Maternally Optimistic says:

    Awwwh what a great birthday!!! You did an excellent job with the cake, I’m so impressed. We haven’t watched Blippi but I might give it a go. Unfortunately we are deep in an In The Night Garden phase just now. He loves it!! I on the other hand think someone was definitely high when they came up with it. The only other thing he really watched is little baby bum, he loves all the songs.

    I was beginning to think I was the only person with a child who isn’t a morning person lol He likes to be left alone for a while to come round and definitely needs to be awake well over an hour before he can even think about breakfast lol xxx

    Like

  7. RJ says:

    Wow 2?! Time seriously flies. I’m so glad you’re still able to breastfeed without all the pumping. I would have gone longer if mine wanted to! Enjoy it 😁

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nara says:

      Thanks! Yes, it’s lovely to enjoy breastfeeding without pumping! So glad I’m not having to slog it out any more!

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Caitlin says:

    “I don’t yearn for babyhood again because he’s awesome now. I enjoyed it at the time but I feel immensely privileged I get to go on this journey and nurture my own child and watch him grow.” So perfectly said! This reflects exactly how I feel about our 2.5 year old.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nara says:

      Ahhh so wonderful isn’t it? Happy two and a half to you! 💕

      Like

  9. Lovely post. Good job on the cake by the way! That’s cool that the breastfeeding so going so well and you are going to continue. A lot of people also seem to expect me to stop breastfeeding once Mini turns one.. but it’s going well so I don’t see any need to. My current goal it to make it to 2 years. But I can imagine if it’s still going well then, I would probably continue longer. I can imagine it’s a relief not to be pumping at work anymore!x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nara says:

      Aww thank you! So glad you are going well with bf… It is something else! I never expected to be breastfeeding a toddler! Yes I’m soooo glad not to have to rush to pump before nursery pickup any more. It’s made the whole thing so much easier! Love to you guys xx

      Like

  10. Dani says:

    Ahhhh you are so awesome for pumping for so long!!!!!

    Happy Birthday B – you make an adorable blippi ☺️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nara says:

      Thanks so much! Not a patch on you, super momma! Not sure how you manage to do everything you do! X

      Like

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