Some things: general life update

I was thinking with the whole diet/fitness/detox thing that I didn’t really do so many actual life updates and I had a few things, so here’s my random middle of the night mid week post.

It’s pretty much the end of summer in London. Which is crazy as I haven’t even been on holiday yet! I’ve had to crack out the black opaques (tights/pantyhose for you Americans out there!!) and that’s a weird feeling. I’m going to get an amazing tan on holiday (hopefully) and have nowhere to show it off! Ha.

One thing that happened was a bit of recycling / sustainable / ethical fashion. My current coats I’d been wearing had kind of worn out a bit. (Cheap ones that get all bobbly.) So since I lost weight I managed to dig out an old coat I bought in 2015… I have a feeling I even blogged about it… and I’ve started wearing it again!

The funniest thing is it hadn’t fitted me in a while as it’s okay on the body but fits tight on the arms. It is designed by a vegan gothic designer and I looked it up on the website and it was obviously an old design… but I saw the new design had pockets. Which is what bothered me about the coat. Because I need pockets for phone / keys otherwise always have to carry a bag. Then I looked up the designer and asked her if maybe it was possible to put pockets in and it was! So instead of buying a whole new coat I ended up upcycling / reusing an old one.

This is the coat…

And this is my latest look. For work. Before I always thought it’s maybe a bit too gothy to work in the city but now with all the “be yourself at work” stuff I thought what the heck. I wore it. Everyone thinks I’m a goth anyway because I mainly wear black! I love the giant furry hood.

Goth hobo as I have to carry bags with laptop etc in everywhere because I work on various client sites. It’s a pain!

What else? Oh we’ve started watching Australian Masterchef again. We love it. It’s so much more superior than any other Masterchef. We don’t even watch the British one! I guess they have a bigger budget. Also I get weirdly invested in the contestants.

B is developing at lightning pace. He used to say, “Cackoo!” instead of thank you and the other day we realised that he says thank you and I was a tiny bit sad! It’s absolutely awesome though. I love hanging out with him. I am pretty sure he’s my favourite person. Sorry T. And Dog.

I think I decided on what dress to wear to the wedding… Believe it or not it’s been a whole thought process for the last few months and I’ve totally been thinking about it a lot. It is a really important wedding hence the diet! I mean I feel fine now but I just think I’ll see how far I can take it. It’s not even like I felt terrible before tbh, I just feel like it’s something I can do so I might as well.

I totally broke the diet today because the canele people had a pop up at one of my clients and it’s insane how much I love the things. I literally dream about them.

Okay they’re not much to look at but once you try them there’s no going back. They’re delicious! Sort of custard squidgy sponge on the inside with a crunchy caramelised outer. OMG. You need to try them.

On the plus side, this morning I was pretty much back to my pre-weekend weight and it only took Sunday to today (Wednesday) eating back on plan to get back there. And I ate alllll the bread last weekend.

Also I had prepped my packed lunch salad and intended to have my green smoothie late for breakfast (so I did the intermittent fasting) but then I saw the caneles so I had those with my lunch (no breakfast) and had green smoothie for dinner early before I left the office – so in theory I’m back on track for the fasting and hopefully it won’t be too bad an effect. I’d really like to push down another kg this week.

Last night I painted my nails and B insisted he wanted his doing too. T was kind of averse to it but I figure that B is 2 and it doesn’t do any harm and I’m not “making him into a girl” because hair and makeup and nails do not determine gender! Honestly I find the whole thing a bit ridiculous. He’s a baby! And he really wanted his nails done. And apparently showed them to everyone at nursery today. He was super proud. Tbh I think the kid is a bit of a drama queen but again I don’t think this has any bearing on future gender or sexuality! Don’t get me started on his hair!

Also, I should totally be an event planner. Briony’s trip to the country retreat is going ahead in a few weeks and she’s so excited. We raised over £1000! Which is amazing. This means we’ve paid for their entire stay for four nights, their transport and there is money left over for food and drink. They’re going to have a ball.

Then I messaged one of the local recommended alternative practitioners – she does reiki and reflexology which are the only things Briony is allowed during cancer treatment (no massage and no spas). So I asked her if I could book in Briony for a treatment, explaining how it would be a surprise as we are sending her there and that she has stage four cancer. This lovely lady offered to treat her for free! Seriously, there is good in the world! I told her we had raised more than enough money but she insisted!

Also that weekend it’s one of our local ladies’ 40ths… I found this out a few weeks ago in the pub and she said she had nothing planned. She split up with her ex wife last year and she’s been devastated… They had two kids together (with a sperm donor). So obviously I couldn’t see a friend not have plans on her 40th… so I’ve organised a surprise day of treats for her!

I will meet her at her house at lunch with a picnic. She’s only free at 12:30… and the kids are off to her ex. So our local friends will turn up and we are going to go and do… a welding course! Haha. I live in a creative area and there’s always something interesting to do. She is very creative and has made furniture and stuff so thought it would be another string to her bow. It was totally random as I didn’t think the other ladies would want to do it but they did! Crazy!

After welding we’ll all go home and get changed and then a manicurist will come round her house and do our nails. So a bit of grime followed by some pampering! And we’ll bring bubbles. Then we will go out to a local Italian place and I’ll have made a cake (if I remember) and hopefully everyone will have a nice night.

On top of this I organise our team Christmas party… have done the last three. It’s weird. I like organising events. I’d totally love to be an event planner. Maybe I should be one when I retire. Hopefully in the next 10 years if all goes according to plan.

Boring work stuff: My American counterpart is being really difficult. He’s not actually American. He’s Indian. Which sad to say (because I’ve had a great experience with most Indian people I’ve worked with) I think he has an issue with females because he absolutely treats me with no respect and some people have suggested it’s a cultural thing. I don’t know. All I know is I’m this close () to raising a grievance. Although I doubt my company would do anything about it. It’s just so frustrating dealing with him. And the last two people in my role said the same and moved on, that’s why I’m there! My boss thought I could sweet talk him but it’s beyond me.

As an example of his behaviour, we are meant to be doing the same job – him for the US and me for the UK. But he is technically one grade above me and so the global account rolls up to him. (I manage multiple accounts though.) He treats me like a junior, won’t share information and only mails me to order me to chase up trivial tasks, and doesn’t actually allow me to do the job. When he doesn’t get an instant reply from me, he will then copy in my boss. (She thinks it’s ridiculous too and she’s senior to both of us.) Who even does that? The last time he escalated by IMing me when I was in a meeting and I told him I was in a meeting with a senior client. So he mailed my boss to complain I don’t respond to his emails.

I lost it when my boss showed me the email… I told her I’m considering this harassment. Bear in mind I’m (one of) my boss’ star pupils and everyone thinks this guy is an idiot.

I don’t usually let myself get riled by work any more but this really hacked me off.


Oh and finally (for tonight), a health scare. Sort of.

I noticed ages ago that I had a dimple sort of just to the side of my cleavage. At first I thought it was the remnants of a spot. But then over a few months it didn’t go away. Obviously with Briony’s breast cancer I got a wee bit paranoid. But also I couldn’t really see how a tiny dimple would be anything. Then I started feeling it and I can feel a tiny lump. But I just kept thinking maybe I’m paranoid? Maybe I’m a hypochondriac? (I totally am.) Can you even get cancer in your cleavage? And how likely would it be that I’d have the same thing as one of my closest friends? Late night thoughts.

Now the NHS is great but our local GP is completely over subscribed. I live in an area where the population has probably tripled in the last few years and the GP surgery hasn’t. So it takes weeks or even months to get an appointment. I finally after much late night googling and no conclusion decided to see the doc. Booked an appointment a few weeks ago and had it Monday. I didn’t even mention it to T and definitely not to Briony.

Doc had a look and said she didn’t think it was worrying but she would refer me anyway as you can’t be too careful.

Tuesday received a letter with an appointment for next week. It says they just want to eliminate the possibility it might be cancer.


Part of me is like, I’m just being ridiculous. I probably am. But I told T and I think he was quite worried. Obviously I’m not even considering that it could be anything like that.

Part of me is super impressed at the NHS cancer pathway that is supposed to be you get seen in 2 weeks and this is like one week.

Part of me is slightly sh-tting myself.

And part of me is not even going to think about it.

15 Comments Add yours

  1. Rach says:

    Oh gawd, I’ve been there (breast pump experience) so I totally get the mish mash of feelings about it. I hope it all goes smoothly and everything is fine. Btw you are just about the nicest friend, always organising something for someone. You really are so thoughtful. The guy from the US sounds like an absolute jerk. Someone needs to pull him I to line!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Rach says:

      Oh and jacket is gorgeous!!!!

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Nara says:

      Thank you my dear! Yes I remember you mentioning yours. I did think I bet Rach would tell me to go and get it checked. 😂 I am hoping it’s nothing… the remnants of a spot! It’s weird to have a little lump though. Appointment is next week so hopefully fine.

      Thanks always for your support! 💕💕

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m sure it will turn out to be nothing, but I totally get the anxiety until you get the all clear! Wow, your colleague sounds awful. HR should speak to him if they haven’t already. One of my friends here who has a little boy also paints his nails whenever he wants. It’s not a big deal at all. I love that these days little boys can play with dolls or even wear Elsa from frozen dresses and people are more accepting!


    1. Nara says:

      Thanks! Yeah I’m not stressing too much, it’s just in the background. I’m mildly concerned but also thinking I’m probably overreacting and glad that the NHS gets you scanned so quickly! And yes to the gender stuff! It’s so silly, B has a doll and buggy and I’m pretty sure it’s not going to turn him into a girl!


  3. kimi says:

    Scary about the lump! Definitely get it checked out. I also found a lump a few years back. They did an ultrasound and it was nothing. But better to have the peace of mind. That coworker sounds like an asshole. If he’s driven multiple other women away with his behavior, how is he still an employee? Have you gone to HR? You should reply to one of his emails and copy HR and remind him that you are not his secretary and he needs to treat you with more respect. Two can play at the “copy others on the email” game. What a headache.


    1. Nara says:

      Yes I’m hopeful that it’s nothing! I’m sure it will be. Yes my coworker is a complete idiot! He’s driven plenty of people away, including men – nobody in the UK can work with him. But because of our setup, my bosses have no jurisdiction over him. I just think he’s been particularly crappy to me because he can get away with it more, maybe. I haven’t gone to HR as it would be a big escalation, but I am considering it. The problem is he hasn’t been insulting or anything, just disrespectful and non collaborative. So I doubt they would do anything about it. I do copy in my boss into my responses in a pretty snippy way a lot of the time. I even PMed him after his latest complaint to say I was not impressed. He didn’t reply!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. kimi says:

        This guy sounds like a piece of work! I’m sorry and I hope you come to some resolution soon.


      2. Nara says:

        I’m hoping he just befalls a nasty accident or gets let go… I feel like karma has to catch up with him sometime!!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Amy M. says:

    Oh goodness! Really hoping that it turns out to be nothing!
    I remember years ago, I was about 30 I think, I was having just my yearly exam and the nurse felt a lump in my breast. Of course I panicked, because my grandmother died from breast cancer. They sent me for a mammogram, but when I got there the Dr said they would do an ultrasound instead because I was so young. There was nothing there, and it turned out that it was likely just a fibroid because I had either just started or finished my period. So scary though! Anyway, hopefully yours turns out to be nothing as well!!
    And I’d totally do something about that idiot you have to deal with at work!!


    1. Nara says:

      Thank you! I think I remember you writing about that. It’s weird for me as I have no family medical history as an adoptee so you miss that knowledge that maybe your family’s women just have lumpy breasts or whatever. I am hoping it’s nothing. It’s a really tiny lump smaller than a pea, which is why it’s taken me this long to ask about it. But having a friend with stage four breast cancer does make me more cautious.
      And yeah the guy at work needs something doing, I just don’t know what! (Obviously I’ve done some imaginary things, haha!)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Amy M. says:

        Yeah I’m sure that makes it a lot harder. I know they can do those DNA tests now and check for medical markers like that, but I honestly have no idea how much something like that would cost!


      2. Nara says:

        I’ve done the dna tests and they do give you the genetic predisposition for certain things like breast cancer. Like I don’t have BRAC1 so that’s good. But you can still get breast cancer even if you don’t have the genetic stuff.


  5. Dani says:

    I’m catching up. So I’ll comment now knowing you probably have posted about your appointment, but just to say, I everything crossed.
    BTW- I love B’s nails! And that coat is gorgeous.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nara says:

      Thank you! Spoiler: It all turned out fine in the end! ♥️


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