When your child gets hurt by another child

The day was shaping up to be a good one. We met up with friends who have a boy about the same age as our B, and went to visit a local farm as it was lambing day. We got to see lots of animals including newborn lambs. All was good. Then we went to…

Remembering infertility

I’ve realised that there is a part of me that somehow wants to commemorate this time, even though I am in the thick of it and loving it – I don’t want to forget it. I read an old blog post of mine that I wrote when B was only a few weeks old, and…

F*** cancer

My friend has just been diagnosed with cancer for the third time. The first time was years ago, before I knew her. The second time was about two years ago, or maybe three. It was before B was born and we were trying to have a baby. Back in those days we were positive, because…

Thought for the day: bullies and self esteem

I saw this cartoon last week and really liked it. I hated school. Was bullied pretty much every day for nine years. Around the seventh-eighth year I got a (male) best friend, started hanging out mainly with the boys (they didn’t have girl dramas and fallouts) and stopped caring. The best way to deal with…

Merry Christmas Eve

Merry Christmas Eve all! I’ve spent the day off work with my one and only, and my overwhelming feeling is gratitude. (Well, that and realising I really dislike wrapping.) It took a while to get here. I was told I’d never have kids naturally, and after over a decade of infertility and loss, operations, IVF…

Today

I received a text message from my old uni flatmate this morning. “Sad news. Call me. x” I thought – this is it. She’s gone into a hospice. Our other uni flatmate M, and her best friend – has had lung cancer. (Did you know lung cancer is the #1 killer cancer? And yet it’s…

When one is enough

I’ve talked a lot about infertility before – that’s the reason this blog started in the first place. But once you’ve been through it all and ended up with a baby – what are you? I’m still technically infertile, but I am a mother. I don’t feel like I can properly call myself infertile, aligning…

Feeling strangely emotional

I think I’ve just started my period. It’ll be the first one since we started IVF cycle 2 – the one that resulted in baby B. I think we started in April 2016! Strange to think I haven’t had one since then! I was sort of hoping I could hold off the periods indefinitely as…

The old feelings

Confession time. Sometimes I can be a real bitch. That’s over a decade of infertility for you! Sometimes I feel the old jealous, mean feelings coming back.  I’ve been meaning to write about this for a while and it’s probably just going to sound like a massive whine. But I keep meaning to blog more,…

Pondering post infertility

Today a friend of mine posted an ultrasound picture on Facebook and gaily announced to the world that their baby would be born next February.  I already knew she was pregnant because I was one of the first people she told. We’d discussed pregnancy and whether she should start trying, and how she was going…