Just thought I’d share. Sorry I’ve been a bit lax at blogging lately – the little one has rather taken up my time and so I haven’t had the chance to catch up on everyone’s blog posts. I hope you are all well!
I’m great, apart from the fact that my eyeball is currently overhanging its socket. I kid you not. Turns out my hayfever has gotten to peak levels this year, and as I’m breastfeeding I have been trying not to take daily medication (as it’s safe but can apparently impact milk supply and/or cross into the milk). So I’ve been rather suffering although it is early in the season but seems to be affecting everyone badly this year in the UK.
So: current position is that I’m feeding baby B whilst in a darkened room (it’s almost 1am and we tend to go to bed late – plus side is B doesn’t wake up early!) and feeling the uncomfortable sensation of my eyeball being swollen and overhanging my eye socket. Ugh. I’ve taken some cetirizine in desperation and I’m going to get some eye drops tomorrow. My doctor gave me a steroid nasal spray which apparently is fine for breastfeeding and I have a bunch of saline sprays too, so that covers the nose itching and sneezing, but gosh the itchy eyes and the overhanging eyeball are unpleasant!
Other than that we are great. I’ve not had much time for blogging lately but I guess that will change when I get back to work and have a commute during which I can type! I feel like right now I want to take advantage of being close to B.
I have a lot of feelings about going back to work, but that’s probably another post. Meanwhile I’ll leave you with an attractive vision of my red swollen eyeball, and a few pictures from our days out and about. Please tell me your news in the comments and I’ll have a read of your blogs!
We’re all dying, as I used to say dramatically during my adolescence.
I really feel like I’m dying, though. Since being fortunate enough to enter into the IVF process, and even more fortunate to be able to get pregnant from it (high five, NHS!), I haven’t been taking any medication. Or caffeine (well, I’ve had chocolate but no coffee). Or alcohol. Basically my tripartite crutch of meds-coffee-alcohol has been ripped away.
The upshot of this all is that I am: tired (no coffee plus body is making a little human), sober (gosh the world looks less rosy without rosé) and DYING of hayfever (sniffle, snot, sneeze). It’s been moderately bad already this year and I got some stuff that the pharmacist said would be okay for pregnant women (an entirely ineffectual nasal spray that serves only to make me look like I’m foaming from the nostrils, like Dog when he gets excited). And Lockets, which are actually fairly minging but make the ongoing sneezefest more tolerable.
But as of yesterday this has barely touched the sides. I was at a conference and it was pretty good but I spent the entire day feeling self conscious that I was sneezing and snotting out of my nose. Can I just say that makeup goes to pot when you are manic sneezing.
Here was the view from the top:
Pretty good. It was a great conference aimed at women in the corporate world and in any other situation I would have enjoyed it 100%. Whereas I spent the day enjoying it but also feeling terribly ill. It was great to see all these strong women (plus for some reason I actually found the discussions about women-as-mothers moderately relevant rather than it not applying to me as it usually does).
Anyway, I went to the doctor this morning as it was pretty much an emergency. Aside from probably snorting, sneezing and snotting over countless high powered business women yesterday whilst my brain ran out of my nostrils (I think it was my brain… I can’t be sure), I finally got home last night and one of my eyeballs actually swelled up and was disgustingly popping out of my eye. I mean, that’s not right! Apparently pregnancy causes you to have more snot anyway. Oh, the joys. Don’t even get me thinking about the actual birthing side of things. (I still think that’s unlikely so am not thinking about it, la la la la.)
I do love the NHS. We have a fairly oversubscribed doctor’s surgery near us but they do a walk in centre too so I went first thing this morning and saw a nurse practitioner. He gave me a new inhaler (salbutamol – which is apparently fine if you’re pregnant) but confirmed there wasn’t really anything he could give me for the hayfever other than some eye drops. So I guess I’ll just have to suffer. At least the inhaler has helped me feel a bit better as it always feels quite terrible when you’re struggling to breathe. (I always refuse to believe I have, like, actual asthma, but I get really badly affected by hayfever each year so I use an inhaler then.) He did say he could give me some antihistamines as they “weren’t proven” to cause damage to unborn children but I was like I have had IVF! so I don’t want anything that might cause any damage to the baby! and then he decided it probably wasn’t worth giving them to me… so I guess maybe they’re low risk. At any rate I don’t want anything unless a doc says it’s okay.
I have my first GP appointment on Tuesday but just wanted to try and get something before then. Apparently on Tuesday is when they give you the form and then you fill it in and you can claim all medicines for free whilst you’re pregnant until your child is one year old! – WTF. Seriously, I say again, bless the NHS. It’s just nuts that they’re so supportive of people. They even said in the pharmacy that I should keep the prescription till I had the special maternity card that gives you free meds, and I was like, no, it’s fine… I will pay for the inhaler and eye drops – don’t need to put more strain on the NHS! (I think I’m just a very enthusiastic service user. Or I’m getting all preggers hormonal and grateful or something.)
In other news, my ASOS delivery “let’s try on some maternity clothing to see what it’s like” was a complete washout. I mean, firstly I had completely overestimated how fat I actually was. I ordered everything in a size 12 which turned out to be fatter than I was feeling. (I’m aware size 12 isn’t actually fat for normal people but it is if you’re my height, ie midget.) I think the whacking humungaboobs have made me feel fatter than I am. Secondly, everything at ASOS seems to be made for giants. Like, people who are six foot tall or something. The jeans actually fit me but were a bit long and they really weren’t flattering. I decided to keep with my current jeans and maybe do the unbuttoned/long top thing… or buy a pair of my usual jeans in a size up. It’s a bit annoying to have to keep sending stuff back to ASOS but I think I’ve learned my lesson now – and they do free returns.
I did pregnancy test #8 this morning. I’m still pregnant! I probably could have even not done it, but I wanted to be sure I was pregnant before going to the doctor’s surgery and saying wah wah I can’t take stuff because I’m pregnant. Anyway it was a strong blue cross! Hurrah! I still have three more left I think – one of the pink first response ones and a couple of digital ones. (For some reason I find the digital ones less exciting, though obviously the first digital one was super exciting. I think it’s because there is less suspense involved!)
We have the first scan next Thursday. Which is exciting! Although scary too, because what if they say there’s something wrong? I still have this feeling that they’ll tell me the stomach I have is entirely made out of pizza. (They’d be correct.)
So my plan for the weekend is to avoid someone’s birthday party – I’m sending T off to it, as the person is really nice and deserves people to attend their party, but what with the hayfever and not drinking I don’t think I can face it. So I’ll take the ASOS stuff and send it back, and I might go to the mall and do a bit of wandering around aimlessly/shopping. I’ve ordered a pair of jeans a size bigger than my usual size so I’ll go and try those on and maybe just do a bit of window shopping… but nothing too drastic. I could do with a few longer tops though as I don’t want people to see my undone jeans if it gets to that! At the moment I can do them up but they’re a bit squishy.
I’ve had the odd spot of nausea but I don’t know if that’s pregnancy nausea or general feeling unwell hayfevery nausea. I am hoping I don’t properly get it as I am soooo bad at being ill. I think a quiet Saturday in with Dog is what the doctor ordered. I’ll probably do Friday night as well! I bought a cookbook yesterday as I thought I probably need to try and do something that isn’t pizza for once.
Runaway train, never going back…
Well it’s day 26 and I’m on a train. It’s a super duper early train all the way across the country, and I’ll be coming back tonight. On the plus side, this means at least I get to sleep in my own bed, but on the minus side, well… Who likes getting up before 4am? Not me!
(Incidentally, I’m showing my age here but does anyone remember that song Runaway Train by Soul Asylum? I used to love them! Jeepers, I wonder whatever happened to them!)
As I mentioned yesterday, I’m so tired. T says he thinks this might be related to the phases of the moon and that I might be a werewolf. (It’s always a possibility as I think I do get pretty bad PMT, haha.) I think it must be the Gonal F. I’ve moved to a half dose of the Buserelin, which is great as it means I don’t get that PMT feeling the whole time which I had before when I was on the full dose for down regulation. But I just feel super tired on this new regime.
As an example, I usually go to bed after midnight – quite often it’s more like 1am. And I get up around 5-6am because I am expected to work every hour of the day. I actually find it easier to try and get in early and get stuff out of the way before my client is on site – as they want to talk to me for half the day, and my team also want me to tell them what to do and whatnot, so I end up not having very much time to do any work when people are actually in the office. So I have this twilight time where I try and grab some time to do some work and the rest of the time it’s management! #firstworldproblems 🙂
So anyway I’ve had no difference to my usual regime of not sleeping / catching up on sleep at the weekends but this whole long weekend (a bank holiday in the UK which means you get Monday off) I have been so tired I almost couldn’t move. I mean on Friday night I came home from work and went to bed – tried to watch a film but kept falling asleep. Saturday I went out during the day and then came home and was in bed by 9-something – unheard of for me! – and Sunday I barely moved from the sofa. What a sloth!
Yesterday I had lots of grand ideas about tidying up and sorting through my clothes but that didn’t happen. Seriously, I was knackered. I could barely manage to get up and go out to my scan appointment and the breakfast after (but reader, I managed it, valiantly… pancakes, since you ask). So it was a rather quiet day apart from a shortish walk interspersed by sneezing. I’m one giant ball of hayfeverish sniffles at the moment, and I haven’t taken any antihistamines yet as I’m not sure if I should do or not – I’ll have to ask tomorrow. (If anyone knows – please shout!)
Today I have to go all the way across country and back in a day. This is because I have my second scan (third? depending on whether you count the baseline scan or not) tomorrow morning, and I clearly can’t be in 2 places at the same time (although my work thinks I can). So I’m heading back this evening after a very early start and I’ll at least get to sleep in my own bed. I’m one of those people who much prefers sleeping in my own bed, even though hotels are nice and everything. Especially the one I usually stay in which gives me chocolate! But still – there’s a lot to be said for one’s own bed.
In terms of how I’m feeling, I’m feeling tired and I have a few pains, but I’m not sure whether that’s more to do with the fact that I’ve turned into a human pincushion.
Me, earlier today
Well, it can’t be helped – and I’m still in that hopeful phase that we’ll be the 1 in 4 who it works for first time!
Here’s to a successful week of follicle growth! 🙂
Today I had my second scan after the baseline. Nothing much to report other than it’s all looking as it should do, apparently. That’s good, right?
I’ve been feeling really weird though. For one thing I’ve been so tired. I mean I’ve spent almost the entire bank holiday asleep. I don’t know if this is because of the drugs or the fact that I’ve worked such long hours for the past few weeks. Maybe it’s just catching up on me… or maybe it’s the phases of the moon, as T has helpfully suggested!
And suddenly I have hayfever! I’ve been like Mr Sneeze!
Anyway, that’s all my IVF update for now. It’s just scans and jabs – I’m now a bit of a pincushion with lots of bruising – and now tiredness and sneezing! Euuww. My next scan is in a couple of days so I’m hoping the sneezing at least improves by then!
Hope everyone else is doing well!