Pondering post infertility

Today a friend of mine posted an ultrasound picture on Facebook and gaily announced to the world that their baby would be born next February.  I already knew she was pregnant because I was one of the first people she told. We’d discussed pregnancy and whether she should start trying, and how she was going…

Letting myself go

I was looking at old photos of myself on Timehop (God bless Timehop, the regurgitator of past lives!) and realised that I was really skinny. This was something of a surprise to me as I spent a good proportion of my life and most of my adult life feeling fat. It's like a lot of…

One year ago today

There are good and bad things about Timehop. I always find it interesting to see what I did on this day a year ago, and the years before that. Although there are always things we'd rather forget and it doesn't seem to filter those out. This morning's Timehop showed me this scan picture. So strange…

I’d never heard this song before…

Sitting here listening to music on Alexa (“Alexa – play songs by Ed Sheeran”) and this came on and now I’m in floods of tears. And feeling very thankful.  Trigger warning: some serious emotion relating to pregnancy.  Ed Sheeran – Small Bump

Mother’s Day (video)

Mother’s Day in the UK was a while ago, but I saw this video on Facebook from the Today show and it made me cry.  Mother’s Day message – Today Everything has changed for us with the arrival of baby B, after many years of infertility, medical intervention and loss. This time last year I…

NaBloPoMo roundup

Well, I did it! This is my final post for NaBloPoMo, the blogging challenge for November. I can’t quite imagine how, but I’ve managed to bore you post every single day in November. Wowsers! (Now I can go back to the usual blogging-every-few-days thing and stop the 11pm panic setting in…) Things I blogged about…

Feelings about pregnancy after loss

I’m very conscious that the tone of some of my posts has switched from infertility/loss to a cautious acceptance of pregnancy to (probably from the outside) a complete embracing of pregnancy, and I wanted to address that a bit and try to explain the whole storm in my head. Because despite what it may look…

IVF 2: Keeping time

Well, not much to report here. Still waiting until our first scan, where we will find out (possibly) if this pregnancy is viable or not. Although obviously the main goal is to get to 12 weeks and then full term, this is just one of the many hurdles we have to jump in order to…

A pointless ranty vent about nothing´╗┐

I’m still waiting, in this enhanced two week wait (before the first ultrasound that gives an indication but no guarantee of viability) so I’ve been trying to distract myself. Unfortunately when working one’s notice this means there isn’t a whole lot of work to distract yourself with, and also it leaves you (well, me) a…

A family resemblance

(Or: Seeing things through other people’s eyes)  We had a kind of exhausting weekend, full of the kind of social butterfly activities which remind you that you are too old for this shiz. I always thought of myself as the young one, mainly because all my friends were a few years to a lot of…