Triggery trigger things

I have been thinking lately about what it’s like to be infertile / pursuing IVF / post miscarriage.    “One of these things is not like the other” – © Sesame Street I realised that’s how it feels. I feel Other. Regular readers of my blog will know that I’ve had a whole lifetime of…

Telling people about IVF

Let me preface this by saying I’m British. I feel like I’m always clarifying this on this blog, but I do think it adds context as – despite being The Biggest Americophile Of All Time (I was watching a programme on retiring to Florida last night and I wear a Disney ring to work every…

How far along were you?

“…If you don’t mind me asking.” Actually, I do mind you asking. Miscarriage is painful enough to have to deal with in the virtual blackout we have that means that a pregnancy doesn’t “count” until it’s 12 weeks, and even then “It wasn’t a baby” and “It happens to everyone”. (Not my words but the…

On grief and moving on

I think the saying is true: Life does go on. At various times in my life I’ve been grateful or resentful that is the case. It’s like: You have this big thing that happens to you and to anyone else it’s just a normal day. You look at people going about their daily business and…

Looking for answers

So I finally had my long awaited appointment with Dr S. He’s one of the main doctors in London who specialise in reproductive immunology, thought to be a cause of many people’s prolonged infertility, IVF failure and recurrent miscarriage.  I was introduced to Dr S by one of my blogfriends, TryTryAgain. She’s currently pregnant after…

Things to be happy about

It’s been a tough week but I made it! It’s Friday! I locked my laptop in a drawer and I skipped (shuffled) out the office door. 20:10 and the weekend has begun. This week has been a week of highs and lows. I really did not anticipate all the feels associated with my due date…

Close, but no cigar

Today is my due date. To celebrate, I’m going to work, just like any other day. I’m working on a new client and I can’t afford to miss it. This afternoon, when I’m supposed to be wondering if that was a contraction or something else, I’ll be delivering a client workshop. I’ll be trying to…

Things to do whilst your baby isn’t being born

I’ve been a bit ranty and hormonal lately, and luckily (*sarcasm) for me, it’s because it’s my Time of the Month rather than because everyone in the world is being annoying. (Actually, I think it might be both.) Oh yeah, I’m expecting my period next week. It was gonna be my baby, but y’know, 1…

“Don’t give up” – and other “consolations”

[Warning: Angry/sad grief post. If you are an easily offended parent, feel free not to read.] I’ve seen a few blog posts lately along the lines of “We were infertile too and we kept trying [or tried once…once!!] and now we’re pregnant so, y’know, just keep going and it will happen for you!”… Public service…

This crazy life

I’m going to a christening. I have to go, because it’s for my niece. And I feel generally okay about it. It’s been long enough since I miscarried (last July) that I’ve settled back down into my old identity of Childless Me.  For my sister, who miscarried a few months after I did, also as…