A meditation on wooden toys

Or: Feelings when your 21 year old scribbles on the £90 “open ended play” wobbel board (my gift to him on his first birthday). When this happens to your natural wobbel and it doesn’t come off… – It doesn’t affect usage – it still functions perfectly as a wobbly board and slide and baby doll…

Why are all celebs so bloody fertile?!

Congratulations to Prince Harry and Meghan! I am really happy for them. BUT… Why are all celebs so bloody fertile?! As if it wasn’t enough that all friends seem to get up the duff as soon as the ink is dried on the marriage certificate, the slew of celebs in their late 30s who seem…

The old feelings

Confession time. Sometimes I can be a real bitch. That’s over a decade of infertility for you! Sometimes I feel the old jealous, mean feelings coming back.  I’ve been meaning to write about this for a while and it’s probably just going to sound like a massive whine. But I keep meaning to blog more,…

Pondering post infertility

Today a friend of mine posted an ultrasound picture on Facebook and gaily announced to the world that their baby would be born next February.  I already knew she was pregnant because I was one of the first people she told. We’d discussed pregnancy and whether she should start trying, and how she was going…

Letting myself go

I was looking at old photos of myself on Timehop (God bless Timehop, the regurgitator of past lives!) and realised that I was really skinny. This was something of a surprise to me as I spent a good proportion of my life and most of my adult life feeling fat. It's like a lot of…

One year ago today

There are good and bad things about Timehop. I always find it interesting to see what I did on this day a year ago, and the years before that. Although there are always things we'd rather forget and it doesn't seem to filter those out. This morning's Timehop showed me this scan picture. So strange…

I’d never heard this song before…

Sitting here listening to music on Alexa (“Alexa – play songs by Ed Sheeran”) and this came on and now I’m in floods of tears. And feeling very thankful.  Trigger warning: some serious emotion relating to pregnancy.  Ed Sheeran – Small Bump

Mother’s Day (video)

Mother’s Day in the UK was a while ago, but I saw this video on Facebook from the Today show and it made me cry.  Mother’s Day message – Today Everything has changed for us with the arrival of baby B, after many years of infertility, medical intervention and loss. This time last year I…

QBR: Quarterly Baby Review

Before I embarked on this journey, I worked in an office. I’m a not-very-bigwig in the corporate world. And for years I defined myself by it, so I find myself applying “work” lingo to this new and amazing world of parenthood… Hence: the QBR. At work, the Quarterly Business Review is a chance to look…

The time of our lives

It’s been 16 days since B was born and our lives changed gear. (*Eek, three weeks since I started writing this blog post a few days ago!) And yet it feels like he’s always been here. I guess he’s been in existence for 9 and a half months, and in our minds and wishes for…